I, mostly, have been sitting in my home for several weeks. I have had a couple of counseling appointments and did take a road trip with my daughter. I sit and wait for God to bring me a word or notion that will help me walk out of this depression.
Last night, I could not sleep. I have slept for 2 days and last night nothing. But, while trying to sleep I heard from God. He told me, "You love your mother but you are angry with her". I was glad to hear from God and thanked Him but, I am not sure what to do with that.
So, there in lies the root of my depression. My mother is gone and I have nothing left to continue to be angry with. Another sad situation that I have gotten myself in.
I have made a decision this week. I will live out the rest of my life has healthy and happy has I can. So, that means I will give up bad habits and eat healthy. Well, has healthy has I can with the price of food right now. This decision was made this weekend while I laid around in pain. Then God brings me a word that truly fits my decision.
Working on giving up my anger is a challenge. First, I did not realize I was angry. But, it makes sense. Second, I do not know how I will accomplish this. But, I will focus and try. God gave me the word so I could be set free and I will be free indeed. Praise God for his mercy.
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