Youth Delivered from Drugs, Porn, Masturbation, Depression

I'm Isaac Snuffer, 15, and here is the story of how God has changed my life completely.

I was raised in a Christian home, attending a church where God moved greatly as young as 2, and saw God move all the time. During this time I gave my life to Christ, but did not fully understand the power of God nor even who he was. All I knew was the basics of the faith taught in the nursery classes at churches.

Now skipping on, about the time I got into sixth grade, about the time I was 11, because of peer presure I started to get into pornography and masturbation, getting worse as time went on, not acually knowing that these things were sinful at the time. This was about 2003. The next year I got in with a bit of a worse crowd. For about a year I was fine, but starting about summer 2005 I started swearing, and listening to somewhat Satanic music. Also about this time depression hit me. I started to hate my life, wishing it would end. I was ready for suicide. Then in winter 2005 I started skateboarding, as a release for all of my feelings of depression. This worked for about half a year, about mid-spring 2006. About this time it started coming back, yet I didn't want to just end it all.

Though I hated life I had something in me telling me not to end it, a fear of death, which I know now was God watching out for me even though I was against him. So about that summer I started looking up ways to get high. I wanted an escape from the pain I felt inside. So in November 2006 I tried to get high for the first time, taking Diphenhydramine HCL(an OTC medicine which I will not mention the brand name incase of someone wanting drugs reads this). It wasn't all that good, but I needed to get rid of the pain, so I continued to take it in low doses, until one Sun. night in Nov. I decided to take some until I really got an effect. I ended up taking 18 times the reccommended dose, and in this started hallucinating heavily, which scared the crap out of me, but I convinced myself it was fun. After this point I was taking OTC drugs heavily, even stealing some from Wal Mart to meet my need for drugs. I was getting
high at least twice a week. I know I was addicted, and even once saw a demon come out of my television. I once again began to contemplate suicide, unbeknownst to my friends, who thought I was happy. Even my friend who I did drugs with, who was ironically from my youth group,
thought I was happy. But I wasn't.

Then, on March 9, 2007, my youth group went to a 3 day youth rally in Knoxville. On the second night me and my friend were saved and filled with the Holy Spirit, and I was freed. Freed from the hold drugs had on me. Freed me of my masturbation. Freed on my depression. Freed of the bondages of sin.

Since then, God has done great things in my life. I'm happy. My personality was changed from the mess it was in to a loving personality. I don't swear anymore. I'm a completely different person. Thank you God, for accepting even me into your family.

Isaac Snuffer, Victory Skater!
isaacsnuffer AT@ gmail.com

Ciri-ciri orang yang di undang ke Perjamuan Suci di Surga

1. Percaya kepada Yesus Kristus
2. Percaya kepada Kuasa Firman Kristus
3. Penuh Kasih dan Kemurahan Hati
4. Berani berkorban untuk Tuhan dan sesama, bahkan sampai mati
   

Vision

Sunday, during church, I had a vision. Now, usually, when I have a vision in church,I tell pastor. This vision came in plenty of time to tell him before he got to the pulpit, but I got the impression I was not to tell him. So, I wrote it down and continued to worship.

Worship was moving and the sermon outstanding. But, in the midst of the sermon, pastor said, "by the way, someone has a word for the church. I'll ask for that word at the end of the sermon." My thought was, there is probably a lot of people with words, mine will wait.

So, when he asked, "who has the word?" I sat amongst a couple of hundred people and watched as no one stood or raised their hand. Those are the times when your brain starts moving really fast. Should I get up? Am I the one? Come on people raise your hand. But, no one. So, in my reluctance, I did not stand up, I slid my hand up.

"Yes, give your word." Came from our pastor. So, there I go. Knowing that, I only do this out of obedience, I really do not want to stand up and stand out. My long body took a very long time to extend to its full length and then the microphone was stuck in my face. My voice shook, because of the "I don't want to" thing in my head and my mind hunted for the words.

"God took me into a vision while we worshiped. He showed me a meadow. It was beautiful. So very green and the sun shone brightly. There were people on one side dancing and so very happy. On the other side the people were happy. Then I saw a scar dividing the two groups. I asked God, what kind of scar is this. He said, "it is the scars that people carry. Pain, shame, bitterness, sorrow." I asked, How do the people get past the scar. He said,"If my people will humble themselves and allow Jesus to administer His healing balm, then the balm of Gilead will heal their scars and they will come into the fullness of my glory.""

I wanted to say, "the end." But, was at a loss as to how to finish. It felt like I was dangling. The church was staring at me and pastor was in prayer. Someone close to me gasped and some cried. The microphone was retrieved and I sat down as pastor did an altar call.

When I sat down, pain entered my body. The pain was horrible. My husband was holding my hand and I just wanted to scream. It was in my lower back and just would not quit. I was trying to get through the moment as my husbands prayers finally reached my body. What was that? This is new. Am I, now, going to get hit with pain every time I give a word. No, it was the pain of the people that I felt. I was allowed to feel all the emotional pain that the church is carrying. That pain immobilized me. I could not cry out to God. I could not function. I was just trying to get through the moment.

Are you immobilized with emotional pain? In my counseling, I have seen many people, whom in their emotional trauma, have put human characteristics on God. They see God as having the same ways of their predators. Those who have caused them untold pain. Whenever, we define God in such limited ways, of course we can not see Him as a healer. We have done nothing more than to pull Him down to our level and then take away His power.

In order to overcome our scars of the past and to come into the joy of God, we must believe that God can and will heal. Become mobile. To come into His fullness, we must humble ourselves and see Him for whom He is. The creator of the universe. Now, words are cheap and I can talk about it all I want. But, for you to understand the fullness of what I say, you, must redefine God and set Him apart from man.


To understand who God really is, is to fall on our face and truly seek Him. To read His words and ask for wisdom. To allow Him to reveal Himself and His greatness. We, alone, in our limited capabilities, can not understand His might. Search yourself. Find those things that lie deep within the recesses of your mind that keep you from His glory and allow God, in His love, to heal you. He wants nothing more than you.

Dread

My heart has been heavy with the sense of dread. I have spent time in prayer and I, actually, asked for prayer last night in a group. I rarely ask for prayer in these kinds of situations. In this group last was, also, attended by my prophetic team. The prayers there moved me.

Dread, I suppose, could be defined as a sense of doom. That would be a good description of my feelings. All this because, my pastor as given blessing to the prophetic team. His blessing sent a ripple of feelings through me that lingered and sent me to my prayer closet.

I have, over the years, started many programs at the church. All with a sense of joy and new beginnings. These programs bloomed and were a joy to start. But, with time, I became the target of rumors, lies and face to face accusations. I learned how to let these things roll off of me and to realize these words were about them not me. But, I grew tired of them and I find myself, now, not wanting to go there again.

This is a conversation, in part, that I had with my pastor this weekend. Pastor: "You have very special gifts and this(the team) is going to get big.". Given55: "I don't really want to do this. It is God's vision for me not my vision." Pastor: "I don't believe that to be true. I believe you do want this and you should embrace this with joy." Given55: "I see your point. I do spiritually want what God wants. But, my flesh does not want this."

So, my flesh has been crawling with dread. Foreseeing, maybe wrongly, the negative assault of the people.

Then there is the responsibility. I am now, not only responsible for what comes out of my mouth, but responsible for what comes out of the mouths of my team. This may sound horrible but, healing ministry is easy in comparison. In healing one can always say, "well if your not healed, it is probably your lack of faith," or "You must have sin in your life." I have never done that, but have heard others say these things. It seems they have a built in escape route. The prophetic has a grave responsibility with it.

So, there you have it. "I DON"T WANT TO"' was were I have been for a few days. As I looked to God on this issue, He brought me several things. One came from a blog I like to read. "Random Reflections" Her post was about sickness, but it moved me with and I needed to hear again,

Jeremiah 29:11


"For I know the plans that I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope".

I grabbed onto that verse yesterday and held tight. I, also, remembered long ago, when Mark Bubeck ministered to me and told me I need to memorize Psalms 91.


1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, �He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.�

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 �Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.�



God uses the strangest people to get His work done. For myself, I am not much of a people person and yet He has surrounded me with people. I'd prefer to stay home and be alone, but this is not what He has for me and I will go forward. As for the joy. I am not quite there yet, I have, however, lost the sense of dread. My safety and covering is in the Lord. I will walk in the steps that He has laid before me and know that He is my comforter and my God.

Redeemed

Because of my inner struggle today, I am reposting. My struggle, I hope, will find resolution today and I will share tomorrow. As for today... I pray.


I've been thinking:


I have been a child,a teen, a criminal, and pacifist, a hippie,

a biker,

a model,

a dope addict, and a drunk.


I've been healthy and I've been sick.


But, now I am:
A lover of all,
Walking in purpose,
redeemed by His love. Forgiven, lead, strong, true and who I am suppose to finally be.  

Set free of the me that was confused, lost and on shaky ground.
Redeemed, that is who I am today.