Confession

I am sitting in my basement writing...my laptop took a dive. I have never liked being in the basement...not sure why. I suppose, I need to be on top of everything.

I realized last night what little faith I have in God's promise of provision and how materialistic I am.

We found out yesterday, that 2,400 folks will be laid off at my husbands plant. Even with 20 years, my husband, without the help of God, will be laid off.

We have made plans for this event, but the reality hit me last night and I cried.

It certainly will be the end of the world as I have know it.

God has blessed us in every way. We can not sustain this life style on unemployment and disability. We do not live above our means, but we have rental property, a farm and the house we now live in. We have to cut back and take losses.

So. I grieved last night. I do not want to give up the house I live in. It was a gift from God, but I suppose it was for a moment in time. He gave us the farm also and that is were we will be headed. I realized that the farm is a provision from God. It can sustain us with food and income, but it is run down and I, in my late years, do not want to take on the task.

Selfish?? Yes. Materialistic? Yes. Frightened? Yes.

In the last few posts, I have published predictions and prophesies about the United States. I posted them for you, my dear reader, to heed. So, I need to heed them as well. And I need to trust the God of the universe and believe.

This kind of thing certainly takes you back to the basics of our faith. The old song "Trust and Obey" comes to mind. "Cause there's no other way". My faith is small and my trust is small, my hope is small. But, I will hold onto the hem of the Lord's garment and cry out His name. "With out you Lord, I can do nothing".