A Way Out from Sexual Addiction

Dear Friend in Christ,

I thank God for you that I have another opportunity to share what God has done in my life. I would like to share one of my testimonies.

I pray that God will continue to strengthen and enlarge your territory.

In Christ

Rhonda Miller

Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

When I read the scripture, with every temptation, God will provide a way of escape, I felt like I found a million dollars. I found my breakthrough. I didn’t have to keep living a life that included adultery, lies, and pretending. I could be free.

I wanted to break free from the lustful relationship that I shamefully found myself in. But the gifts were too nice and the money was too good.

I couldn’t believe that I was in such a mess. I had just come back to the Lord after being a backslider for five years. I was on fire for the Lord - quoting scriptures, reading my Bible, praying every day. I wouldn’t settle in a church, though, because I was still afraid to commit myself.

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty; now I know that I needed a pastor and a fellowship of believers to help me. But anyway, I wouldn’t settle in anybody’s church. I had settled, instead, on a married man who eventually had my full attention.

He was handsome and financially secure. He spoke with confidence and intelligence. When he asked me to go out of town with him during a holiday break, I emphatically said “”no!”" and told him in a very holy way that adultery was sin and I wanted no part of it.

He kindly backed off and apologized. The next day, he sent a bottle of perfume along with a card. I kept it. The Holy Ghost told me to give it back and to stay away from him. I knew better. I knew what the Word said about adultery. But I kept it. The cologne was one of my favorites.

A few days later, he left me another small gift. Many times, he gave me money. The next time that he asked me to go out of town, I went. I ignored the convictions. I ignored the knowledge that I was selling myself for money and gifts.

After our last rendezvous, I felt ashamed and stupid for allowing myself to get in this situation. I told God I wanted out. I felt horrible that I failed God again and again. I picked up my Bible and the page fell on the scripture that saved my life. It said, “”with every temptation, God will provide a way of escape.”" There was actually an escape route for me. There was a way out. I was relieved. Through tears, I praised God. I repented, for sinning against God. I knew that God forgave me. I knew that I had the victory. Little did I know that victory would come through humiliation.

The next day, I received a phone call from his wife. She told me that she knew that her husband and I had been together. She said that she wanted to talk to me. I was flabbergasted. I was afraid. I was dumbfounded.

I managed to say “”sure, come on over.”" I hung up the phone and couldn’t believe what I said. I was humiliated beyond any explanation that I can say.

We agreed to meet at my home the next day. She didn’t need directions, she said. She knew where I lived. At that point, I could have died. I sat on my couch in a daze. How could I have let myself get in such a nasty mess? James 1:14 says that “”each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.”"

The next day, she came over. We talked. I told her the truth. She told me not to see her husband anymore. I agreed. I never told him that his wife came to see me. I just ended it. I didn’t explain anything. I promised God that I would be faithful to Him. I promised myself that I would never allow myself to be in such a pitiful position.

That was fifteen years ago. I have remained faithful to Jesus in my singleness. I learned how to put my flesh under subjection. I prayed. I cried. I told God about every pain and the loneliness that I felt. I took showers. I spent time with strong women of God.

I love and honor Him for giving me strength and mercy. There is no way that I could have made it without my Savior.

e-mail: shunammite777@cs.com