Sunday, during church, I had a vision. Now, usually, when I have a vision in church,I tell pastor. This vision came in plenty of time to tell him before he got to the pulpit, but I got the impression I was not to tell him. So, I wrote it down and continued to worship.
Worship was moving and the sermon outstanding. But, in the midst of the sermon, pastor said, "by the way, someone has a word for the church. I'll ask for that word at the end of the sermon." My thought was, there is probably a lot of people with words, mine will wait.
So, when he asked, "who has the word?" I sat amongst a couple of hundred people and watched as no one stood or raised their hand. Those are the times when your brain starts moving really fast. Should I get up? Am I the one? Come on people raise your hand. But, no one. So, in my reluctance, I did not stand up, I slid my hand up.
"Yes, give your word." Came from our pastor. So, there I go. Knowing that, I only do this out of obedience, I really do not want to stand up and stand out. My long body took a very long time to extend to its full length and then the microphone was stuck in my face. My voice shook, because of the "I don't want to" thing in my head and my mind hunted for the words.
"God took me into a vision while we worshiped. He showed me a meadow. It was beautiful. So very green and the sun shone brightly. There were people on one side dancing and so very happy. On the other side the people were happy. Then I saw a scar dividing the two groups. I asked God, what kind of scar is this. He said, "it is the scars that people carry. Pain, shame, bitterness, sorrow." I asked, How do the people get past the scar. He said,"If my people will humble themselves and allow Jesus to administer His healing balm, then the balm of Gilead will heal their scars and they will come into the fullness of my glory.""
I wanted to say, "the end." But, was at a loss as to how to finish. It felt like I was dangling. The church was staring at me and pastor was in prayer. Someone close to me gasped and some cried. The microphone was retrieved and I sat down as pastor did an altar call.
When I sat down, pain entered my body. The pain was horrible. My husband was holding my hand and I just wanted to scream. It was in my lower back and just would not quit. I was trying to get through the moment as my husbands prayers finally reached my body. What was that? This is new. Am I, now, going to get hit with pain every time I give a word. No, it was the pain of the people that I felt. I was allowed to feel all the emotional pain that the church is carrying. That pain immobilized me. I could not cry out to God. I could not function. I was just trying to get through the moment.
Are you immobilized with emotional pain? In my counseling, I have seen many people, whom in their emotional trauma, have put human characteristics on God. They see God as having the same ways of their predators. Those who have caused them untold pain. Whenever, we define God in such limited ways, of course we can not see Him as a healer. We have done nothing more than to pull Him down to our level and then take away His power.
In order to overcome our scars of the past and to come into the joy of God, we must believe that God can and will heal. Become mobile. To come into His fullness, we must humble ourselves and see Him for whom He is. The creator of the universe. Now, words are cheap and I can talk about it all I want. But, for you to understand the fullness of what I say, you, must redefine God and set Him apart from man.
To understand who God really is, is to fall on our face and truly seek Him. To read His words and ask for wisdom. To allow Him to reveal Himself and His greatness. We, alone, in our limited capabilities, can not understand His might. Search yourself. Find those things that lie deep within the recesses of your mind that keep you from His glory and allow God, in His love, to heal you. He wants nothing more than you.
