Pertobatan Istri Simpanan (Hernina)

Hernina lahir dari keluarga muslim, anak ke-3 dari 5 bersaudara. Umur 5 tahun mamanya meninggal, dan dia langsung dititipkan ke neneknya, yaitu orang tua dari papanya. Papanya sendiri merantau ke Surabaya. Hernina tinggal di Kalimantan Timur dengan neneknya. Kelas 1 SD Hernina ikut anak dari neneknya. Kelas 2 SMEA, Hernina kembali ke Balikpapan. Kakaknya membiayai sekolahnya sampai kelas 3 SMEA. Waktu itu ia mengambil jurusan Tata Buku. Begitu tamat Hernina bekerja di suatu perusahaan sebagai accounting. Awal Perjumpaan Tahun 1982 Hernina pindah bekerja di sebuah perusaan kontraktor yang terkenal. Posisinya sebagai sekretaris. Disinilah awal pertemuannya dengan ‘Bapak’. “Dia sebagai kepala cabang dari Jakarta. Saya ada di perusahaan itu sebagai sekretaris. Saya tahu dia sudah punya istri tapi bagi saya tidak menjadi halangan untuk meneruskan hubungan saya dengan dia. Satu saat saya diajak ke tempat tinggalnya, dia mulai nyetel film porno. Mula-mula saya malu ngeliatnya, tapi akhirnya saya melihat juga. Kami sama-sama melihat, kami menikmati, tidak ada rasa takut atau apapun juga.” Alasan Hernina Menjalin Hubungan Dengan ‘Bapak’ “Diperusahaan itu memang saya satu-satunya perempuan yang bekerja di sana. Mulanya saya biasa saja, tapi entah mengapa saya mulai mendapat perhatiannya, dan saya jadi senang karena saya melihat figure bapak dalam dirinya, mungkin selama ini karena saya tidak mendapatkan figure bapak. Waktu itu umur kita beda jauh, dia umur 42 sedangkan saya umur 19 tahun. Saat dia mengajak saya makan dan kalau janjian bertemu dengan saya selalu tepat waktu dan selalu ditepati, mungkin karena dulu saya biasa berjanji dengan teman pria yang lebih muda selalu saja mereka ingkar janji, disitulah mungkin kelebihan figure ‘bapak’ di mata saya, jadi di samping sebagai teman dan kekasih, dia juga seperti orang tua yang ngemong.” Tahun 1984 Hernina menikah dan sejak saat itu hidupnya dipenuhi dengan kemewahan. Namun masalah sudah menanti ketika Hernina pindah ke Jakarta. Awalnya istri pertama ‘bapak’ pasrah saja. Tapi dalam suatu kesempatan, istri pertama ‘bapak’ melabraknya. Sampai akhirnya dibuat kesepakatan antara ‘Bapak’, istri pertamanya dan Hernina. Tapi Hernina merasa dirinya selalu berada di pihak yang mendapat perlakuan tidak adil. Kejadian itu cepat terlupakan oleh Hernina. Tahun berlalu, karena kesal dengan ‘Bapak’ kehidupan malam mulai meracuni Hernina. Pesta pora, narkoba dan perselingkuhan pun menjadi kebiasaan Hernina. “Karena saya kesepian dan banyak waktu kosong, kesempatan itu ada, juga uang mendukung, ada kendaraan”. Perselingkuhan Hernina diketahui suaminya. Pertengkaran pun terjadi. “Yang tadinya saya menganggap dia seorang suami yang selama ini saya idam-idamkan, tapi pada saat itu semuanya hilang. Berganti dengan kebencian, kemarahan dan kesakitan. Karena pada waktu itu paha saya sampai biru-biru.” Hernina memutuskan untuk melupakan kejadian itu dengan bersenang-senang memakai narkoba. Kehidupan malam meracuninya selama bertahun-tahun. Suatu malam saat Hernina menikmati narkoba bersama teman-temannya, sesuatu yang ia takuti terjadi. Tempatnya berpesta narkoba digerebek polisi. “Saya dalam hati begini, ‘Waduh, bagaimana saya kalau di penjara?’ Saya tidak ada barang bukti sehingga saya dilepas. Saya merenung, saya ingat sekali Tuhan berkata pada saya, ‘Stop! Stop!’. Itulah terakhir saya memakai shabu-shabu, juga narkoba dan yang lainnya.” Hari itu Hernina mengambil keputusan untuk meninggalkan hidupnya yang lama. Iapun menemui seorang hamba Tuhan. Saat hamba Tuhan itu berdoa, ia teringat dengan sebuah Firman yang pernah ia dengar di sebuah pertemuan ibadah. “Di situ dikatakan Tuhan Yesus itu adalah Allah yang penuh kasih. Dia datang ke dunia ini mencari orang yang berdosa. Saya merasa saya melakukan perzinahan. Akhirnya saya menerima Tuhan Yesus dan saya juga harus mengambil keputusan walaupun berat. Saya bilang, ‘Pa, mulai sekarang kita tidak boleh lagi melakukan hubungan suami istri’.” Tekad Hernina sudah bulat. Iapun meninggalkan semua kekayaannya. Namun tuntutan ekonomi menekannya. Dalam kebingungannya membayar biaya sekolah anaknya, Hernina meminta pertolongan pada ‘bapak’. Tapi permintaan itu hanya akan dipenuhi jika ia mau melayani ‘bapak’. Ternyata itu hanya janji belaka. “Saya menangis. Saya malu sekali sama Tuhan. Saya anggap itu perzinahan saya yang terakhir.” Hernina tidak mau berlama-lama jatuh dalam dosa. Dengan dukungan seorang hamba Tuhan, Hernina kembali bangkit. “Saya akui semuanya. Terus saya minta ampun sama Tuhan. Kehidupan yang pernah saya alami, baik sebagai istri muda, baik sebagai pemakai narkoba, semua itu sia-sia.” Kini Hernina dan kedua anaknya hidup dalam iman dan pengharapan kepada Yesus Kristus. “Saya bersyukur, setiap bulan saya bisa bayar kontrakan rumah. Setiap bulan saya bisa bayar uang sekolah anak saya. Setiap hari saya bisa kasih makan anak-anak. S’bab Tuhan tidak pernah membiarkan kita. Bandingkan dengan kehidupan saya yang lama. Saya sangat-sangat bahagia hidup bersama Tuhan. Yesus cukup. Itu yang membuat saya bersyukur.” Jika kita mau mengalami perubahan, maka harus dimulai dari hati. Dosa selalu mengakibatkan masalah yang lebih besar. Bisa saja dengan alasan kesepian, dan yang lain, tapi bila kita melakukan dosa, akibatnya itu makin parah. Kalau kita ingin mengalami perubahan, maka tidak ada cara lain, kita harus berubah dan dimulai dari hati kita. Bertobat, meninggalkan yang salah, dan mulai melakukan yang benar.

Yesus mendengarnya dan berkata: "Bukan orang sehat yang memerlukan tabib, tetapi orang sakit.Jadi pergilah dan pelajarilah arti firman ini: Yang Kukehendaki ialah belas kasihan dan bukan persembahan, karena Aku datang bukan untuk memanggil orang benar, melainkan orang berdosa." (Matius 9:12-13)

Saya menemukan Kebenaran Sejati di dalam Tuhan Yesus (Johnyanto Situmorang)

Keterlibatan Johnyanto dengan ilmu hitam sudah dimulainya sejak dia masih duduk di bangku sekolah dasar. Memang kebetulan nenek saya dari mama saya adalah seorang dukun. Jadi semenjak kecil saya sudah melihat dan mengenal seluk-beluk tentang praktek perdukunan. Orang-orang dari berbagai daerah sering berkumpul di rumah kami. Mereka datang meminta tolong dan meminta keselamatan atau kekuatan dari nenek saya. Namun banyak juga yang datang dengan kepentingan lainnya. Semasa kanak-kanak Johnyanto diperkenalkan oleh teman sepermainannya kepada seorang dukun. Kepada dukun inilah Johnyanto mendapatkan pelajaran dasar tentang ilmu hitam. Mungkin karena pikiran anak-anak, jadi ketika teman saya menawarkan apakah saya mau dikenalkan kepada seorang dukun yang bisa mengajarkan saya kekuatan dan ilmu yang hebat, saya segera menyanggupinya. Namun kedua orangtua saya tidak mengetahuinya karena memang kita para murid dukun tersebut tidak diperbolehkan untuk pamer ilmu kepada orang lain. Hari lepas hari, tahun demi tahun karena keterikatannya terhadap lmu hitam membuat Johnyanto memutuskan untuk merantau. Saya putuskan merantau ke Aceh. Di sana saya mendapatkan pekerjaan. Di Aceh juga saya kenal dengan seorang anak pejabat. Dia adalah seorang guru silat. Jadi dialah yang selanjutnya mengajar saya untuk memperdalam ilmu kebathinan dan silat. Setiap minggu kita harus datang latihan. Satu latihan secara fisik dan satu lagi latihan menggunakan mantera-mantera. Semenjak itu saya menjadi haus untuk semakin dalam mempelajari ilmu hitam. Dimana orang bicarakan ada dukun sakti, saya selalu berusaha menemui dan berguru kepadanya. Saya selalu mencari kemana-mana untuk menambah ilmu juga menambah jimat-jimat untuk keselamatan. Tidak puas dengan ilmu kebathinan yang dia miliki, Johnyanto pun mulai bertapa di makam-makam yang dianggap keramat. Pada saat itu kita para penimba ilmu kebathinan sama seperti anak sekolah. Saya ingin menimba ilmu terus-menerus. Namun sebaliknya, semakin saya mendapatkan ilmu baru sepertinya saya merasa semakin kurang dan semakin kurang. Namun semua ilmu-ilmu itu membuat kehidupan Johnyanto semakin kacau. Selama bertahun-tahun kehidupan Johnyanto tak lepas dari judi dan minuman keras. Hingga suatu hari Johnyanto mebaca sebuah buku tentang Tuhan. Begitu saya membaca buku tersebut, rasanya seolah-olah buku itulah yang menjadi jawaban atas semua pergumulan saya selama ini. Karena di dalam hati saya selalu bertanya-tanya tentang siapa itu Pengikut Kristus. Dari buku inilah saya mengetahui kebenaran yang sesungguhnya. Saya putuskan tidak lagi bersandar kepada ilmu atau kekuatan apapun lagi karena saya sudah mengetahui bahwa hanya dengan bersandar kepada Tuhan saja kita mendapatkan perlindungan dan keselamatan. Sejak saat itu saya benar-benar membuat komitmen untuk meninggalkan semua ilmu hitam, judi dan minuman keras. Tuhan yang mengasihi. Tuhan yang bijaksana dan Tuhanlah yang mencukupkan segala yang saya butuhkan. Satu hal yang mau saya lakukan untuk Tuhan. Saya mau melayani Tuhan sampai akhir hidup saya.

“Dan berada dalam Dia bukan dengan kebenaranku sendiri karena mentaati hukum Taurat, melainkan dengan kebenaran karena kepercayaan kepada Kristus, yaitu kebenaran yang Allah anugerahkan berdasarkan kepercayaan.” (Filipi 3:9)

20 Tahun dikuasai Roh Jahat (Mangontang Siahaan)

Mangontang Siahaan dilahirkan di suatu kota kecil pada tanggal 21 Maret 1964 di Pematang Siantar, Sumatera Utara dan merupakan anak kesepuluh dari dua belas bersaudara. Sejak kecil Mangontang sudah mendapat disiplin dan didikan yang keras dan anak yang taat pada orang tua terutama kepada ayahnya. Pada waktu itu ayahnya selalu mengajarkan untuk setiap minggu beribadah dan berserah kepada Tuhan. Tetapi pada tanggal 14 Desember 1979 di mana sang ayah dipanggil Tuhan di usianya yang ke-80, Mangontang merasa terpukul dan sangat kehilangan karena dia sangat dekat dengan ayahnya. Kedatangan Tamu Misterius Hal yang tidak pernah diduga sebelumnya oleh keluarga Mangontang. Seorang pria misterius datang dalam kehidupan mereka. Pria tersebut adalah adik ibunya yang datang dari Aceh dan sudah 20 tahun lebih tidak pernah ada komunikasi dengan keluarganya. Pamannya itu adalah seorang muslim sejak berumur 14 tahun dan sudah naik haji.. Saat itu pamannya menginap di rumah dalam jangka waktu yang cukup lama. Selama waktu itu, banyak orang sakit yang disembuhkan pamannya. Namun Mangontang tidak pernah tahu siapa pamannya itu. Sampai sebuah kejadian mistik terlihat olehnya. Paman Mangontang yang telah kerasukan roh-roh jahat membuatnya berjalan merangkak dan meminta daun-daunan kepada Mangontang. Roh yang telah memasuki tubuh pamannya membuat dia melahap semua dedaunan tersebut. Mangontang baru sadar siapa sebenarnya pamannya. “Saya lihat sendiri mata dia melotot dan semua gigi dia bukan seperti gigi manusia.” “Daun-daunan hanya untuk dimakan. Dan minumannya bukan air putih. Dia minta air yang dari ledeng. Dan waktu itu tunjuk-tunjuk jarinya ke saya terus.” “Paman saya cerita bahwa dia punya orang yang ini-ini...yang ini... Barulah kami tahu bahwa paman saya ini rupanya dukun.” Kasih sayang yang besar tampak diperlihatkan pamannya kepada Mangontang. Di balik kasih sayangnya, ternyata ada tujuan terselubung. “Saya pun sama dia tidur bersama. Dan dia terus-terus menyelimuti saya.” “Menurut paman saya ini, dia dari tiga kali menikah anaknya tetap satu. Jadi, supaya dua dia akan ambil anak dari kakaknya untuk jadi anaknya.” Tapi ibu Mangontang tidak mengijinkannya. Paman Mangontang yang lain juga tidak mengijinkan untuk Mangontang dibawa pergi. Akibat keinginannya tidak terpenuhi, pamannya meninggalkan rumah Mangontang. Namun di sinilah Mangontang mulai mengalami penyakit yang aneh. “Pada malam itu saya tiba-tiba kesurupan. Berguling-guling dan badan saya pun seperti papan. Tegang. Dan saya disuntik oleh kakak saya yang dokter supaya jangan berguling-guling lagi dan saya sadar.” Hal yang anehpun terus dialami olehnya. Ketika ibunya membawakan nasi bungkus untuk keluarganya, Mangontang menghabiskan semua nasi bungkus itu sendirian. “Mereka lihat saya makan semua makanan itu. Dan ibu pun mulai heran. Kok bisa habis semua? Dan anehnya saya makan itu bukan seperti orang makan seperti biasa. Kadang-kadang bisa seperti anjing, kadang-kadang bisa seperti burung, tapi kakak saya waktu itu mengatakan ‘Ah, ini dibuat-buat dia’” Akibat menderita penyakit aneh tersebut, Mangontang harus mengkonsumsi obat seumur hidupnya. “Kakak saya yang dokter kasih saya obat untuk epilepsi. Karena dia bilang ini epilepsi. Biasanya itu terasa sama saya penyakitnya datang jam 5-6 sore atau jam 4-5 pagi.” Mangontang terus menderita penyakit aneh tersebut bahkan sampa dia menikah. Tetty Tobing, istrinya menceritakan pengalaman itu. “Waktu kejadian itu, dia mengerang. Saya panik, saya teriak terus kita bawa ke rumah sakit.” “Sebelum sampai di rumah sakit dia sudah sadar. ‘Ngapain saya kok dibawa kesini. Ga ada apa-apa kok’ katanya gitu. Ya sudah, saya bawa pulang lagi.” Tidak pernah ada harapan untuk sembuh dalam diri Mangontang. Penyakit yang aneh itu terus menggerogoti hidupnya. Memang akhirnya kuasa roh yang membuat Mangontang seperti menderita suatu penyakit aneh itu menguasai Mangontang sampai 20 tahun. Dan ini membuat hidupnya semakin hancur. Bukan hanya dia yang susah, tapi seluruh keluarganya. Orang-orang di sekitarnya merasakan penderitaan dan kesusahan yang terus-menerus. Bagi Mangontang, tidak ada lagi yang bisa dilakukannya selain berdoa. “Tuhan lindungi saya. Kalau memang ada kesalahanku, kalau memang saya ada makan sesuatu atau melakukan sesuatu, atau dari keluargaku, atau dari orang tuaku.” “Tapi penyakit itu sekali dalam seminggu atau sekali dalam sebulanlah kalau saya rata-ratakan, penyakit itu pasti ada kambuh.” 31 Juli 2001 Mangontang tidak pernah menyangka dalam keadaan yang baik-baik saja ketika pulang kerja, suatu peristiwa yang paling mengerikan akan dialaminya. Istrinya menceritakan pengalaman mengerikan tersebut. “Suami saya matanya merah luar biasa. Kayaknya bukan dia. Kayak ada kemasukan sesuatu. Dengan buru-burunya suami saya ini diangkat. Pertama-tama dengan dua satpam yang ada di depan rumah tapi tidak bisa diangkat juga. Akhirnya satpam kerahkan teman-temannya sampai ada tujuh orang.” Satpam yang tengah membantunya tetap tidak bisa mengangkatnya. Akhirnya Mangontang diseret menuju ke mobil. “Kakinya sudah kaku. Nafasnya sudah tidak ada lagi. Sudah kaku tangannya. Mukanya sudah biru.” Mangontang akhirnya dibawa ke rumah sakit. Kondisinya sangat kritis. Namun tiba-tiba dia sadar. “Ada sepuluh orang perawat memegang tangannya tapi tidak bisa karena kuat sekali tenaganya. Jadi dia harus diikat tangannya, kayak tenaga dalam gitu, ada tenaga yang luar biasa kuatnya. Entah apa yang ada dalam tubuhnya.” Melihat kondisi suaminya yang tidak ada harapan, sang istri hanya bisa berdoa. “Tolong Tuhan, Tuhan Yesus, karena Kaulah Tuhanku, Engkau akan menolong saya dan Engkau akan memberikan mujizat kepada saya.” Dua hari kemudian Mangontang kembali sadar. Namun tampak sosok aneh terlihat pada wajah Mangontang. “Dia bertanya ’Mana istri saya’ gitu. Terus saya datang ke dalam, ‘Kenapa kamu bawa saya ke sini’ katanya. Saya bilang, ‘Bapak kan sakit?’ Dia jawab, ‘Enggak, saya ga sakit. Buka tangan saya, kenapa diikat. Pulang, saya mau pulang’.” Mangontang akhirnya dibawa pulang. Perilaku aneh kembali diperlihatkannya. “Memang dia sadar tapi drastis sekali. Minum teh manis sepuluh gelas. Sama makan juga langsung tiga piring pada saat itu.” Melalui informasi dari adik Mangontang, ternyata Mangontang menyimpan sebuah benda mistis pemberian pamannya berupa cincin. Adik Mangontang mengambil cincin itu dan membuangnya ke sungai. “Jadi pada saat cincin dibuang, memang terjadi reaksi pada suami saya. Kumat lagi penyakitnya. Kami sudah berdoa, sudah kayak teriak-teriak memanggil-manggil Tuhan, ‘Oh Tuhan, tolong Tuhan, tolong suami saya’. Mertua saya bilang ‘Tolong anak saya Tuhan’. Dan malam itu tidak terjadi apa-apa karena kami berdoa terus.” Seorang hamba Tuhan dipanggil untuk mendoakan Mangontang. “’Kamu siapa?’ kata suami saya gitu. Dia bilang ‘Saya hamba Tuhan. Saya mau mendoakan kamu’. ‘Tidak, tidak usah’ tapi sambil matanya sudah merah begitu. Tapi hamba Tuhan itu langsung mendoakan. Suami saya sepertinya marah gitu, mukanya berubah seperti adik mertua saya, seperti omnya, pamannya suami saya. Mimiknya katanya seperti itu.” Keluarga Mangontang sangat yakin dan percaya bahwa Tuhan Yesus sanggup melepaskan Mangontang dari keterikatannya akan roh jahat. “Hamba Tuhan itu bertanya, ‘Bapak, saya mau tanya, Tuhan Yesus itu ada di mana sekarang?’ gitu”. Mangontang pun berbagi cerita mengenai pengalaman tersebut. “Nah di situ saya pertama-tama masih belum bisa jawab sampai pendeta itu bertanya pada saya tiga kali. ‘Yesus sekarang berada di mana?’ Lalu saya jawab, ‘Yesus ada di hati saya.’” Untuk benar-benar terbebas dari kesurupan, semua jimat-jimat yang dimiliki ibunya hasil pemberian adiknya sendiri dibakar habis. Saat itu barulah Mangontang merasakan bahwa ia telah dipulihkan dari kesurupan yang dideritanya selama 20 tahun. Mangontang dan istrinya mengucap syukur kepada Tuhan. “Sejak itu saya sehat, tidak ada lagi penyakit itu sampai sekarang. Ya, itu ada makna besar bagi keluarga kami. Kenapa? Disitulah kami benar-benar merasakan jamahan Tuhan dalam keluarga kami. Satu yang saya pegang dalam hidup saya, tanpa Yesus, tidak mungkin kita dapat melakukan sesuatu.” “Puji Tuhan sejak kejadian itu sampai sekarang, sudah tidak pernah terjadi lagi.”

Sebab Allah yang telah berfirman: "Dari dalam gelap akan terbit terang!", Ia juga yang membuat terang-Nya bercahaya di dalam hati kita, supaya kita beroleh terang dari pengetahuan tentang kemuliaan Allah yang nampak pada wajah Kristus (II Korintus 4:6)

The Man Who Saved My Life

For as far back as I can remember, back as far as 3 or 4 years of age, I was able to see the spiritual realm. As a child, I saw what I called “the invisible people.” At times, they would appear and tell me things about others. At other times, one would appear that I was afraid of. It was dark in color and larger than the rest. I called it “the shadow person.” It stood in the corner of my room and just stared at me. When I cried out for help, my family could not see it. As I grew older, the dark one stopped appearing. Medical experts diagnosed this to be a childhood imagination. The problem with their explanation is that this was not my imagination and I continued to see the invisible people, spirits, into adulthood. Most everyone whom I spoke to about this did not believe. So, I ceased talking about these things and kept most all of my experiences to myself.

My family was soon torn apart and I ran away. I became very bitter. I felt that nobody understood me. Nobody seemed to believe me and I was mad at the whole world. My heart became hard and I did whatever it took to get what I wanted. I hurt many people and I did not care.

My life was soon filled with earthly pleasures. Sex, drugs, alcohol, materials things. I was always seeking something to make me feel good. But none of these lasted. Deep inside, nothing had changed. My heart was still the same as before, hard and empty.

One day, I started seeking the paranormal and supernatural. When I found that others had similar experiences and also saw the spirits, I decided that I was going to use my gift to foretell the future. I called upon the spirits for answers. At times they appeared in form that others could relate to, usually someone who had passed on. I practiced tarot cards, numerology and sometimes astrology but calling the spirits and giving “psychic readings” was what I did. The books that I had read mentioned God and some even had prayers. These books spoke of doing “good” so it seemed right, for a while anyway.

One night, I lit candles and I began to call the spirits. Only this time, they did not appear to be loved ones who had passed on. They did not appear to be human at all and I began to feel very uncomfortable. Then, an entity appeared before me. An elongated, distorted, dark face was full of hate and was cursing. The thing told me that I had angered it and I was going to feel this anger. I became extremely frightened. Then my hand began to hurt. It felt like all of the moisture was leaving, like it was drying up. My hand was suddenly moistened. It burned.

After that, the spirits would appear only now I saw them as monstrous. I no longer had to call them. They appeared whenever they wanted to. When the demons came, they tormented me. Bad things began to happen in the earthly realm. I was robbed. I was beat up. I lost my home. I lost my car. I was arrested. I was in several accidents. I was raped. I was ill most all of the time. I was hospitalized. One of those times I had lost a lot of blood and I almost lost my life. Once, the demons entered my body and their noise overpowered me. I lay helpless trying to scream out. I felt as heavy as 3 or 4 large bodies were upon me. I could not speak nor move.

As the demons continued to torment me, I started to think about God. For the first time that I can remember, I was actually “praying.” I asked God to help me. But I had doubts. I remember praying “If there is a God” and “If you can hear me.” I doubted because of all the things I had done in my past. I just thought that if there was a God, I was so bad that God would reject me. But my life was falling fast and the demons were trying to kill me. I knew that no person would be able to help me. I thought that no one would believe me anyway. I had nothing else. God was my only hope.

One day, something inside of me told me to get out, to just leave. I was so convicted and believed that this was what I had to do. So, I packed what little I had left and I fled. It took all the money I had when I moved to the other side of the country and I never looked back at the huge mess I left behind.

Once I arrived at my new home, I had one solid month of rest. It was wonderful. But absolutely nothing can compare to what was about to come.

As I sat in my bedroom, a spirit appeared. I did not fear this time because he was different than those I had seen before. There was a calmness and peace about him. I knew that he would not hurt me. He looked like a man but I was in awe of his presence. I felt extremely small, like a child, and even though he appeared like a man, his presence overtook the entire room. He had white hair and a white beard. He wore a long white robe with a gold sash around him. His hands were hidden in the sleeves of his robe. I could not see his eyes; I could only see his lips. He was only there for a moment but shared what seemed to be hours of time with me. He spoke but his lips never moved. Then, I began to see visions. I saw a great war. I saw evil forces and wickedness. I saw a multitude of sin and each appeared like a demon. I saw an angel of light but it deceives the world because it is really Satan the devil, the evil one. I saw that it came here to the earth and it lies to us all. I then heard the words “It is forbidden. Do not do it again.” And I knew I was forbidden of sorcery, of witchcraft. I knew that I had been delivered from the grips of hell.

The very next afternoon there was a knock at my front door. A visitor came and he had a Holy Bible with him, a book I had not read. I immediately shared about the man who appeared that I met the day before. I told him that I believe he was sent from God. He said, “He was sent from God and came to this world in the flesh.” He then took me to the scripture and asked me to read aloud:

- Revelation 1:13 and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow -

That was as far as I got when my mouth dropped open. I looked up at my visitor and he said,

“You met the Lord.”

I was so filled with such overwhelming joy and to this day, He has never left me. The Lord Jesus Christ, My Savior is The One True Living God.

The Lord gave me a new heart. I now live a blessed life. And because of God's merciful grace, I have been given the promise of eternal life even though I do not deserve it. For this, I am forever grateful.

John 3:15 - and everyone who looks up to Him, trusting and expectant, will gain a real life, eternal life.

Leaving Mormonism for the Lord (Jennifer)

Hello Everyone!
This page is built to share with anyone who has an interest in God and the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My purpose is to share my own experience about how God has changed my life and lifted me up into HIS hands. You see, I used to be a member of the LDS Church. That was, until, the Good Lord carried myself and my family out of the bonds of Satan. As of today, I have Rededicated my whole life to Jesus Christ who is and always will be the ONLY one I focus on. Here is my story.

I was raised in a church called Calvary Baptist Church. I attended regularly growing up. I was always close with the Lord asking him to come into my heart tons of time as a child. I was baptized at the age of 9 as a Christian. But as a teenager, I pulled away from the church and Kinda took my own path.

When I was 18, I took interest in the Mormon church, wondering what they were all about. My soon to be husband (Jim) was Mormon already and the religion seemed so wonderful. So much more than I had at the time. We had just had our first child together and Jim seemed so happy. He had something that I had never seen in him before. And after all, if it wasn't for him becoming Mormon and changing his life, we wouldn't have gotten back together.

I received my 6 lessons and was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints March 3, 1993. Looking back now, after 9 years, I see what happened here. I was ignorant to the Bible, and had never read it. I did not have a personal testimony of Jesus Christ and everything that I would ask the missionaries about, they had a verse out of the Bible to Kinda 'cover over' what I was asking. I remember being excited about being baptized because it was so much bigger than I was. For the first time, I was going to be a part of something big. And I loved the Lord, and it just felt 'right.'

We got married 3 months later and I remember being 'torn.' My heart was pulling at me, and every time I turned around, I was trying to justify these feelings. I would call my mom and my dad and cry. I wasn't positive that joining the mormon church was right, but hey. I decided to give it my all.

Throughout the years, we would go to church and get involved with the members, but my biggest complaint was that nobody was ever happy. Nobody ever had that 'joy' burning inside of them. It was always serious, and gloomy. I always wondered why? Why wasn't anyone reaching out and hugging? Instead, it was always a hand shake and reverence. Which is fine, but I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs how much I loved God.

Sometimes we would become "inactive members" because of my inner feelings. There were times where I felt it was better to stay at home than go to church at all because my roots of Christianity were pulling at my heart. But I was still Mormon. And the family values and the 'Together Forever-ness' was a really great trait of the church. I loved Family Home Evening, and the high values of the members. There were times when I would ask myself, "How can all of these people be wrong? And if THIS church ISN'T true, which one is? And how could Joseph Smith write the whole Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants by Himself? There was just no way! And who am I to say that God Himself didn't appear to this young man?" I was finding every reason under the sun to justify my beliefs.

About one year ago, I was really searching for the Lord. We had become Inactive again for about 2 1/2 years this time. We had a death in the family in 1998, and I pulled away from the Lord. I was angry and bitter. I fell apart at the seems. And so did Jim. But I realized that I needed the Lord. HE had to help me. I knew he could help me fill that empty void in my life. So I went to a church called Joshua Springs Calvary Chapel here locally. And I loved it. The Pastor prayed with me in a prayer circle and prayed that I might have guidance to be able to leave the Mormon church and bring my husband with me. (Which in all actually Kinda irritated me. Because I WAS saved and throughout the years, it was hard pressed that the "Christians" were SO judgmental.) It seemed that after I got home from church that day, Jim was not mad, but distant. I wanted to make him happy. (I Kinda felt like I betrayed him) After all, I didn't know EVERYTHING about the Mormon church. (We were encouraged NOT to do research) It had a good foundation. It was family oriented. It had everything that a good church should have. Needless to say, we went to the Mormon church the following week. This is where I decided I was for once going to give it MY ALL. I wanted to KNOW for once and for all if the church was true. (I wanted that ‘burning in my bosom’ that I never got) We went to church faithfully every week for the last 14ish months. We both had callings, Jim is a Priesthood holder. We went to the Las Vegas Temple and were sealed and took out our endowments. I just knew this was right. Because I felt the 'spirit' inside of me, and I just knew what I was doing was right. For once I wasn't praying to the Lord to help deliver me out of the church. I was praying thanking the Lord for putting me there.

But something changed. And very quickly. Even though it had been 8 years of my heart pulling at me, for this year, I was content. I was happy. I knew that the church was true.

This is where the end started to unravel. For 2 weeks, I was so depressed. I was so sad. I was hopeless. Christmas was coming, and I wanted to have a glass of wine. But even the thought of it drove me crazy. I was thinking- "How in the HECK do you allow yourself to think that way? Why do you need to have a glass of wine at Christmas? What is wrong with you?" And I was also drinking energy drinks. And because of that, I would think to myself, "If you are hooked on these, then how do you expect the Holy Spirit to dwell with you? If you have formed a habit, he will not be with you, Jennifer. Your so worthless. Cant you even stop drinking these for the Lord?" (All it was is a Red Bull) And another issue I had. I LOVE MUSIC. I mainly listen to Pop or Top 40, but every time I would put it on, I was so guilty. Because I 'should' be listening to church music. I need to be 'in the Spirit' at all times. And If I'm not, then I'm a bad person. Another issue for me was wearing the Garments. Here I am 28, and I was wearing these underwear down to my knee. I felt ugly and sometimes I would *wish* in my head that I could take them off. And because I would have those feelings, I thought to myself, "How in the world can you think that way? You are selfish and you are worthless." Because of these relentless feelings, I started to question the church. I am NOT perfect, nor will I ever be. And they teach that if you are not perfect, or at least do your best to try, then you will hold your family back from eternal progression. (Will not make it to the Celestial Kingdom- the highest level of Heaven) I just didn't want to go on. I just couldn't believe that My God would make my whole family suffer if I had shortcomings. There were other factors that played into this as well. Everyone was SO perfect, and always judging and criticizing. Me, being the perfectionist that I am went to the top. I ran. I obeyed the Word of Wisdom. I was trying to be Perfect in all sense of the meaning. I was devoting my whole life to the 'religion.' I put my side of the family on the back burner. (They are all Christians) And I decided with or without them, I was Mormon. And "Christians" just didn't understand. But one day they would. When the good Lord came, they would sure realize how wrong THEY were. Those hypocrites. Drink on Saturday, repent and go to church on Sunday. I was the one thinking I was perfect and they were all luke warm.
How Sad that I thought that way. I apologize with my whole heart to my whole family and Christians in general.

I needed someone to talk to. So I talked with my sister who mentioned some tapes at her church. I wanted them, and I wanted them NOW! Sure enough, the next day I watched, “The Mormon Dilemma,” “Joseph Smith and the Temple of Doom“, and the “Temple of the God makers.” Ok. The tapes were overwhelming. I had heard of some of the things they talked about on the tapes throughout my years of being Mormon and when asked different members of the church about them, they all had different answers. It seems that the members of the church don't even know the whole truth. (Like the Adam-God theory. Or Jesus being conceived out of Sexual relations with God the Father and the Virgin Mary.) Now, when I watched these videos, it was a Thursday afternoon when Jim was at work. These videos really made me question the "Religion" that I was in, and our beliefs. But what was to come next was NOTHING that I expected. This story is coming to an end, and here’s why.

After doing some extensive research on the church, we found out that the Temple Rituals were started by the Free Masons and we never realized hidden things like the upside down pentagrams on the "Holy Temples." It turns out that the Temple Ritual is completely surrounded by Satan himself. And I can say this because I HAVE been through the Temple.

Since then we have prayed about our decision to leave the LDS church and have come back to the Lord! We learned that the Mormon God is a different God taught by a different Gospel. And the Mormon Jesus is not the Biblical Jesus as taught by the Disciples in the Holy Scriptures. For some reason Mormons believe that the Book of Mormon is the "most correct book on earth" and that the Holy Bible has been passed down through, "Dirty Hands," as our local Elder told me 2 weeks ago. That was NOT what I EVER believed as a Mormon. I think it is VERY selfish to want to become Gods. In fact, Jesus kicked Satan out of Heaven for wanting to become God. Shouldn't that be a lesson to man? Satan promised Eve that if she ate the fruit, "ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." It was Satan's promise! And how arrogant that Man doesn't think that God did it right the first time around. Instead, they said that the church "fell away" and it was "restored" by a prophet named Joseph Smith. But in Galatians 1: [8] But though we, or an angel from heaven, PREACH ANY OTHER GOSPEL unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be ACCURSED. God did it right the first time! He sent his only begotten son to fulfill HIS will. If he didn't do it right the first time like the Mormons think, then Christ died in VAIN. What is wrong with this picture?

As a member of the church, you are considered a "Spiritual Baby," and there is always secrets. Things that you learn "Later On," when THEY feel you are ready. They don't want to feed you "meat" before the "milk." I just found out about the planet Kolab 6 months ago from my sister of all people!

Please, if you are Mormon, do some research. I'm here to talk with anyone who has ANY questions. We can pray. We can cry. We can giggle. What ever you want! I'm here!

Where are we know? Who would of thought? Here we are today loving God, and praising HIM! Not a man. Or a Church. Or a "Religion."

Since this all happened, I have rededicated my whole life to Jesus Christ, and we have mailed in our letters to the LDS church to have our names removed. (*UPDATE*- Just today I received a letter from our local Bishop and our names are in the process of being removed. But I might add that we are in “jeopardy” of losing our “eternal salvation,” as well as our children’s eternal salvation. And we are going to suffer extreme consequences.) All this for leaving a CHURCH? Wow. Now that would be a cult my friends.

It seems that after 9 years of being a 'closet Christian' the Lord saved me when he knew that he had lost me. He came in, and swept me out of the hands of Satan and used me as a tool to save my husband as well. I wasn't even asking him to save me for once, I believed that he wanted me in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Below you will find links to my most favorite sites about Mormonism. You will also see that I have linked my Exit letter to the church. I will also post some of those pictures that I was talking about. And just as soon as I receive my Ex Communication letter from the church, I will scan it and post it as well. I cant wait!

If you have any questions about the Church, don't sit there. The time has come my friend for you to do some research. Read your Bible. Not the Book of Mormon. Don't go on a feeling that you 'think' is from God. Even the Missionaries told me that Satan can answer our prayers. I'm not sure if that is true or not, but I know that he was leading me, and I was lost. But Now, I'm found. Thank you Jesus!