The Transforming Power of God For A Homosexual (Jami Breedlove)

I literally grew up in the church: My parents were the custodians, and we lived in an apartment underneath the sanctuary. I was the oldest of three girls, but I always felt like the extra wheel. Although I wasn't a tomboy, whenever my friends and I played "boyfriend-girlfriend," I always wanted to be the boyfriend.

Growing up in small towns in Texas, I didn't have much interest in dating. I did like one boy I had known since grade school, however, and even when his family moved to another state, we always kept up our friendship. He was three years older than I, and a young evangelist. It was my heart's desire to marry a minister. But soon after I graduated from high school, he drowned. I was crushed.

I was attending Bible college at the time, and when my roommate saw how devastated I was, she took me under her wing. She was a couple of years older and reminded me of my mom. She had a car and pocket money--things I didn't have. We soon became fast friends.

Neither of us dated men much, and she always felt upset because no one loved her. I was struggling with the same feelings. My roommate and I started spending a lot of time together. It wasn't long before we began relating to each other on a deep, emotional level. I didn't set out to find a woman to love; I set out to find someone to love me.

The moment I crossed over the line into homosexuality was right out of "Movie of the Week." We were sitting in our room late at night, and it got very quiet. She extended her hand; I took it. We hugged, then we looked into each other's eyes. She kissed me, and we became intimate.

Although there was a physical attraction, lesbianism was an emotional attachment for me. We soon became an "item" on campus. The dorm mother began to suspect something, so she watched us very closely. When the pressure became too much, my roommate left college and moved back home to Illinois. I dropped out, too, and followed her. When my father found out I had left school, he called and insisted I come home. I did.

About six months later, I left home again to go live with my lover. My parents had it all figured out, but when they confronted me, I denied everything.

You may have seen stories on TV or in the newspaper about lesbian couples. You'll usually see a "butch" and a "fem" in the relationship. Butches dress in a more masculine style, have short haircuts and dominate the relationship. The fem, meanwhile, assumes a demure role. I was the fem.

Perhaps you've read that homosexuals have a lot of money--which may be true in the male gay community--but in the lesbian society, you usually have two $5 or $6 wage- earners living together. Financial hardship actually makes it harder for lesbians to seek a path out.

In the 12 years I was a lesbian, I never went to a gay-pride meeting, never paraded down Main Street, and never knew a pedophile. I still wanted a relationship with God, so I attended a Metropolitan Community Church, where gay people are welcomed with open arms. We used Bibles with translations that eliminated the word "homosexual." That's how much we were deluding ourselves. I fell in and out of several relationships, and twice I married other women, although the unions, of course, weren't legal. One time, I visited an infertility doctor and tried to be artificially inseminated from donor sperm so we could become parents.

Meanwhile, my parents were devastated. In their church one evening, the pastor spoke on how God wants to change homosexuals. He asked any parents of homosexuals to come forward and be prayed for. My folks stood up and walked down the aisle, even though it must have been very difficult to publicly admit their daughter was a lesbian.

During this period I was struggling in one of my relationships. My partner and I had these long discussions. She would always ask me, "Do you really think if the Lord came back, we would go to heaven?" The question haunted me. I'd wake up in the middle of the night, thinking, What if the Lord came back? That was my greatest fear, being left behind.

About this time, a man entered my life. I had known Ben Breedlove from my childhood days, and he knew I was a lesbian. I wondered, Why would any man want to see a woman who had lived with other women for 12 years? But Ben wanted to reach me with the same love that Jesus had for me. He told me he cared for me, and he wanted to be my friend.

When I saw Ben's love was unconditional, I began falling in love with him. We dated a few times, and I learned that he was a sensitive, loving, caring man whom God had sent to me. I looked deep in my heart, and I knew I had been living a sinful lifestyle. I wanted out, so I repented and asked God to heal me.

Two verses that keep coming back to me are I Corinthians 6:9-10, which list the sins that will keep people from entering the kingdom of heaven. Homosexuality is one of them. But the next verse says, "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." We have to remember what the changing power of God does. If we realize there are homosexuals in our church--and believe me, they are sitting in your church pews every Sunday--then we need to pray that God will change their lives.

God can change a homosexual's heart. I know, because not only have I seen it, I've experienced it.

(Jami Breedlove leads Restoration, a residental ministry for women who want to leave the lesbian lifestyle. She can be contacted through: Restoration, P.O. Box 7242, Loveland, CO 80537, (970)663-7778; fax: (970)667-7162. Copyright 1994. Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission of Focus on the Family)

A woman, how God delivered her from smoking (Dorothy forrest)

The night I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, I had been at a week long revival. On the last day I was studying my lesson for Bible Study. I was also still a smoker (for almost 30 years) and wanted to stop. I prayed and asked to God to take the cigarettes from me and fill me with the Holy Ghost. I'd been asking God this for a long time but this time the Lord spoke to my heart saying, "Daughter, I know what you want but you have to turn your request around.

So, that day I asked Him again. I said, "Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit." I continued to smoke that last night of revival. I remember the preacher asked for those who wanted prayer to come up to the altar.

There was a very long line and as I got closer to him, the preacher kept looking at me. When it was my turn for prayer he reached to lay his hand on me but before he could touch me I was slain in the Spirit.

It was the most beautiful experience! There was a sweet smell of the presence of God all around me and I did not want it to end. I had thought I was in His presence for 10 or 15 minutes but my husband said they prayed over me for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

I remember I was smoking on the way to church that night. When we were going home my girlfriend's husband started to smoke and it made me feel strange. I said to myself, "Lord, make him put it out." Praise God, my girlfriend spoke to him and said, "Harold, do you have to smoke now?" He didn't say a word, just put it out!

I never wanted to smoke since that day, over 15 years ago. God is good, praise Him!

Still Spirit-filled and smoke-free.

"The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me" (by Doris Glatt)

I was born in London, England. my father was a cabinet maker who came from Riga in Russia, and my mother was born in Latvia in Poland. I don't think they met until their wedding day. My mother was a wonderful lady. She kept a very Orthodox home.

As a child I attended Hebrew school - we called it Sunday school in our synagogue. In the synagogue the women would sit upstairs in the balcony and the men were down below,. Young children were not allowed in synagogue services except on Yom Kippur.

I came to America by ship on February 4, 1948 - the same year that Israel became a state. At first I was able to live with my aunt in Chicago, and my first priority was to find a job. I did think about religions now and then, but my first thought was, "I've got to get money and get settledor else I'll have to go back to England again." somewhere,

During the years I was definitely looking for something to believe in.I would sometimes see a church and ask friends, "What about this church on the corner? What about that one over there?" But for whatever reasons I never did find what I was searching for.

Eventually I retired from my -work, and would often go to the park near my home. One summer day in 1978 1 was sitting on a bench doing some handwork and a beautiful young girl came up and said to me, "Can I talk to you?"

I thought to myself "Talk to me? What does she want with an old lady?"

After inquiring about what I was making, she introduced herself (her name was Paula) and began to explain that she was a student in a program here in Chicago f'or six %weeks. Then she told me about the weekly Bible study that was being held where a lively group would meet to sing songs and study the Scriptures. She said it was the kind of thing that I might enjoy, and from the way she described it, I thought I might.

Then she invited me over for over before the Bible study and my,- first thought was, "Oh brother, I wonder how much this is going to cost me.

I was a bit reluctant to agree. I couldn't figure out why this girl would show such warmth and interest in me, a complete stranger. But I was interested in what she had to say, so I said, "Let me think about it."

She asked if she could phone me, and I told her I'd be glad to have her call. (I thought to myself, "I'm not going to in vite her to my house. I don't know who she is - she'll steal everything I've got.") When she did call, I was so glad to hear her voice. I agreed to be ready when she came to pick me up for the Bible study.

The whole evening really impressed me. I loved all the Hebrew songs, with the tambourine playing, and I thought to myself, 'Golly, I'm back home again!" It felt so good. Some songs I didn't know and some I did. I thought, They don't look like Jewish people. Why are they singing in Hebrew?" I couldn't understand it, but I loved it. And I didn't run out and go home. I stayed the whole night through.

Jose Jimenez had been playing the piano that night. He saw me leaving and called out, "Shalom, Doris!" and do you know I have never forgotten that; that he saw that I was leaving, remembered my, name, and said, "Peace." I thought that was so beautiful. And I Found myself looking forward to the next week's Bible study, and the next - it was the highlight of my week.

I hadn't been going there too long when I began to understand the message they were teaching,: that Jesus was the Messiah of Israel, that I was a sinner, and that it was because God loved me that He sent His Son to be my Savior.

I knew that this was what I wanted, but I thought to myself, "Doris, you don't do these things lightly,-. Don't rush into something you shouldn't. Think about it a little longer.” I could see that they were so sincere, and I just loved coming to the studies.

Finally one day I sat down with one of the AMFI staff and wrote down a list of pros and cons: the things I would gain by accepting Jesus, and what I had to lose. There weren't t many cons, and there was a whole list of pros. The most important thing was that I would have Jesus who would always be my friend. I thought to myself, "What else do I want.-- I need a friend all the time, not just during the Bible studies." And so I put my trust in Messiah Jesus, asking Him to forgive my sins.

One time I was trying to reach my landlord, and he would never come to the phone to talk to me. So I said to his secretary, "How come I can talk to God but I can't talk to Larry.

So she said, "You talk to God?" I said, "All the time." It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can recommend it to everyone.

HEAR AND LIVE ! (By Ernst Loewy)

"Far better to be blind than deaf!" This was the considered opinion of a dear friend of mine who is hard of hearing. "After all," he continued, "those to whom sight is denied keep in close touch with the world around them through an intensified sense of hearing. They arc able to enjoy music and they can converse with others, whereas we are shut up to ourselves and cannot really communicate. If only we could hear!"

Yet many who have been endowed with the faculty of hearing do not exercise it to receive God's communication to us. "O earth, earth, earth, hear the word of the Lord," was the cry of Jeremiah of old. "If only you had paid attention," was the lament of Isaiah to an even earlier generation. Again and again the Bible draws our attention to the importance of listening carefully; "He who has ears, let him hear." Any organ of our body which we do not use will deteriorate, and it is a solemn fact that if we turn a deaf ear to God, our ear will turn deaf. The following paragraphs will illustrate how God's promise was fulfilled in the life of the writer: "Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live" (Isaiah 55:3).

Earliest Days

Born into a Jewish home in Berlin, Germany, I am able to look back on a very happy childhood. My parents were in a position to grant the wishes of their children, so that very little, if anything, remained to be desired. But I remember even in those far off days a longing after deeper things. Unfortunately, neither my father nor my mother had any religious convictions; on the contrary, they had rather inclined toward agnosticism. Consequently, the only way I could give vent to my feelings was by uttering a little prayer which one of our children's maids had taught me.

Another event stands out from my childhood days, namely, an open-air meeting held by the Salvation Army on a Sunday afternoon in one of the open squares of Berlin. Our family had gone for a walk and as we passed by, the service was in full swing. I cannot remember anything about the message given, for none of us were interested enough to stay and listen, but the last line of a chorus which they sang impressed itself indelibly upon my mind. "Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?" Strictly speaking, these words did not convey anything to me, but the challenge they presented could not be evaded. God did not allow me to forget them, but from time to time, they would be on my lips and in my heart, "Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?" What about it?

Adolescence

Years passed, pleasant, carefree years, yet all the time the storm clouds were gathering. The hydra-headed monster of anti-Semitism was stalking through the land, gaining followers everywhere. In January 1933, a wave of persecution was unleashed which grew in intensity, reaching dimensions unparalleled in the history of mankind. It did not leave our immediate family unscathed either, although God in his goodness preserved us from irreparable loss.

The inauguration of the Third Reich influenced the life of every Jew within its reach and, though only a teenager at the time, I was no exception. My high school education was cut short and, having always been interested in electromechanics, I was apprenticed to become a tradesman. About this time my real soul struggle began.

A legion of questions occupied my mind. Why this sudden outbreak of fury? Why should so many innocent people suffer? Why did God allow all this? Why did he not intervene? why? Why? WHY? The religious instruction received at high school could not supply the answer to any of these and many other queries. Not in any way bigoted, my parents had allowed me to learn the Old and New Testaments at school, but the prevailing rational approach to the Bible had robbed us of reverence for it, leaving me with a greater void in my heart. Consequently I turned to the one and only path open before me, the synagogue. I began to study Hebrew, knowing that it would help me to enter more deeply into the services and thinking it would be a good preparation for going to Erets Israel when that way would open up.

However, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Our family decided to emigrate to South Africa and although left at liberty to stay behind to pursue my plans regarding what was then Palestine, I came to the conclusion that it would be best to leave the circle unbroken and set out with my parents for "Africa's golden shore."

A New Beginning

Busy months followed during which every one of us had to shoulder his part of the responsibility of making a new home. I must pay special tribute to my mother's selfless efforts and unceasing labors which contributed most toward this achievement. But neither this, nor the regained personal freedom in a free country, nor congenial work could end my quest. Regular attendance at the synagogue services, keeping of the dietary laws as far as possible, trying to learn more about the oral law, none of these could satisfy the inner longings of my heart. Friends told me that I was far too serious. "Enjoy life while you are young and leave deeper things to the old people; there is plenty of time later on!" Were they right after all? So far I had not succeeded in my search for truth and for God; was I perhaps chasing a will-o'-the-wisp?

Crisis

During this critical period I made the acquaintance of a Christian who was on the office staff of the firm where I was employed as a scientific instrument maker. The difference between her and the other members of the personnel was so marked that it could not go unnoticed. In the course of numerous conversations I realized that this was the first person I had met who knew God as a living reality. At last one who had not only sought, but found. So there was a way back to God, but oh, how disappointing it was to hear that Jesus Christ was that way. As he said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Christians accept this, but how could a Jew believe in the one whose followers have persecuted us throughout the centuries? (I had yet to learn the difference between Gentiles and Christians. While the former may participate in acts of violence and hatred, the latter love our people.)

The very idea seemed so absurd that I tried to put it out of my mind once and for all; but in vain. Judaism had been "weighed in the balances, and found wanting!" If there is no other way besides Jesus Christ, what then? Pride and prejudice barred the road to further inquiry, but God dealt with them in his all-wise manner. He suddenly took away a very good friend of mine while in the prime of life, and this proved a great shock to me. Where would I have gone if the call had come to me instead? "But that is quite impossible," argued the adversary of our souls, "you are even younger than he was, healthy and strong; don't worry about it." Yet God showed me that such a possibility was not nearly as remote as we may think. An accident on a plateau of Table Mountain, which might have been fatal under different circumstances, was a further warning not to delay. "Prepare to meet your God, 0 Israel" was the message of the prophet of old. "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near."

A Deepening Conviction

Remembering that my father had sought comfort and consolation in the Bible at a time of crisis, I also turned to this precious book. Following the counsel of that Christian friend, I began reading in the Old Testament, namely, the prophecy of Isaiah. Nobody, except perhaps one who is utterly indifferent, can read the messages of this zealot and remain untouched; they did not fail to make a profound impression upon me. "A virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call his name Immanuel." Who else could this be, but the prophet of Nazareth? "For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." What son or child would dare call himself El Gibbor? Only Yeshua, who claimed to be one with the Father. "See, a king shall reign in righteousness .... Each man will be like a shelter from the wind ... and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land." Again, no one fitted into this beautiful picture but "the man born to be king"; the Anointed, the Rock of Ages.

Thus the light became brighter day by day and my conviction deepened. "You were sold for nothing, and without money you will be redeemed." What balm to a troubled spirit! But the reading of Isaiah 53 brought the peace so keenly sought. In it the sufferings of the Messiah on behalf of Israel and the world at large are depicted in sublime language. "Surely he took our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted." This was the superficial view once held by myself and by multitudes of my Jewish brethren all over the globe. Now, however, the eye of faith looked beyond the external. "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity f us all."

These solemn verses led me to the knowledge of the truth of God, and in him, who is the true center of Israel, I found the answer to my every problem. Confessing my sin and unworthiness, I looked away to Jesus Christ, my Corban (atoning sacrifice), suffering anguish, dying in my place,

and I received him into my heart by faith. That night anther one of the wandering "lost sheep of the house of Israel" returned to the fold of the redeemed; home at last!

God's Call to Service

The newly-found joy in the Messiah, the peace of heart, the assurance of the forgiveness of sins and eternal life were exceedingly precious in the difficult days that followed. Severe tests of faith were encountered, but nothing could undo God's work of grace in my heart. It was my earnest desire to make this blessed salvation known to others, and some months later I heard God's call to my present sphere of service. It came through the words which commissioned Ezekiel, the prophet, to his life task. "Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me."

Epilogue

That was years ago. But throughout all this time it has been a great joy to serve the Master, in spite of multitudinous difficulties and trials. As long as life shall last it will be my privilege to invite my Jewish brothers and sisters with the words of that great Jew on the shore of the Galilean lake centuries ago: Matsanu et hamashiah! "We have found the Messiah." Hear, and live!

A JEW WHO FOUND JESUS (Testimony Of Rabbi Max Wertheimer)

Born in Germany of devout Orthodox Jewish parents, my first fifteen years were saturated with training in Orthodox Judaism. Then I began my studies toward a career and was apprenticed to a manufacturer doing office work. Although I continued to read the prayers and attend synagogue, my worldly associates led me into sinful pleasures, and I drifted from the faith of my fathers.

My parents sent me to America to pursue a classical education at the Hebrew Union College in Ohio. There were major adjustments to be made, but I finished my training in all phases of Hebrew learning. Four years after completing my undergraduate work I received my master's degree.

Having become proficient in the translation of Hebrew into the vernacular and with a broad knowledge of Jewish history, I was ordained and inducted into rabbinical office.

I served ten years in my first charge, receiving many tokens of affection from my flock. I contributed much to their knowledge of the social, industrial, and economic problems of the day.

I spoke on monotheism, ethical culture, and the moral systems of the Jews. On Sabbath mornings, I gave addresses on the Pentateuch, and on Sundays I taught from eight in the morning to five in the evening with only an hour's break for dinner.

I became popular as a public speaker and was often asked to speak in Christian churches. Well do I recall the day when I proudly stood before an audience of professing Christians and told them why I was a Jew and would not believe in their Christ as my Messiah and Savior. I gloried in the Reform Judaism that acknowledged no need of atoning sacrifice for sin-a religion of ethics which quieted qualms of conscience through a smug self-righteousness.

In that audience sat a humble, elderly woman who prayed, "O God, bring Dr. Wertheimer to realize his utter need of that Savior he so boastingly rejects! Bring him, if necessary, to the very depths in order that he may know his need of my Lord Jesus Christ."

What did I need of Jesus? I was perfectly satisfied with life. My wife was young, attractive, and accomplished. I was rabbi of the B'nai Yeshorum Synagogue, lived in a beautiful home, enjoyed a place of prominence in the community where I spoke in every denominational church, was honorary member of the Ministerial Association, served as chaplain in the Masonic Lodge, and fared sumptuously every day.

Suddenly, there came a change. My wife became seriously ill and soon died, leaving me a distraught widower with two small children. I could not sleep. I walked the streets striving to find something that would make me forget the void in my life. My dreams were shattered. Where was comfort to be found? I called on the God of my fathers, but the heavens seemed as brass. How could I speak words of comfort to others when my own sorrow had brought me to despair? I delved into Spiritism, Theosophy and Christian Science, only to find them futile and hopeless.

I decided that I must resign and take time to think things through. I was perplexed about one thing in particular: Where was the spirit and soul of my loved one who had made my existence so sweet? What had become of all her faculties, the intents and purposes of that active, keen mind? I turned to the Bible for an answer.

Again I studied Judaism, but it answered no questions; it satisfied no craving in my heart. Then I began to read the New Testament, comparing it with the Old. As I pondered over and meditated on many passages, one in particular made a definite impression. In the fifty-third chapter of Isaiah, I was perplexed by the expression, ". . . My righteous servant," found in the eleventh verse. This was the only mention of that phrase I could find in either Testament. We have, "David, my servant," "Isaiah, my servant," Daniel, my servant," but here it is, "My righteous servant."

I said to myself, Who is that righteous servant? To whom does the prophet refer? I argued, Whoever that "righteous servant" of Jehovah is, of one thing I am sure: He is not Israel, because the prophet declares Israel to be a sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a leprous nation. The righteous servant of Jehovah must be one who is holy. If it isn't Israel, who could it be? I decided it must be Isaiah. But in Isaiah chapter 6 I found it could never be the prophet, for he confesses himself to be a guilty sinner and a man of unclean lips in God's sight. "My righteous servant." Who could it be?

I began to study the context and in Isaiah 50:6 I found, "I offered my back to those who beat me." Then I read how the chapter began: "This is what the Lord says." I asked, Does God have a back? Did he give it to those who beat him? Then I read, "My cheeks to those who pulled out my beard," and how he did not hide his face "from mocking and spitting." I asked myself, When did Jehovah have these human characteristics? When and why did he suffer these indignities?

In my confusion, I began to read Isaiah from the beginning. I was stopped at the sixth verse of chapter nine: "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Here was a most incomprehensible thing!

I was suddenly faced with the doctrine of the Trinity. What now about our familiar monotheistic slogan, Shema Israel, Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai ehad ("Hear 0 Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord")? Upon that word ehad ("one"), the entire philosophy of Judaism is based. I had been taught by the rabbi.,; that ehad means "absolute unity." I began to study that word, and found to my amazement it was used of Adam and Eve who became "one." It was used again when the spies returned from Canaan with a cluster of grapes (eshkol ehad). Again it is found when the "men of Judah" stood up as "one man" (eesh ehad). Suddenly, I was struck with the error l had believed and proclaimed all through my ministry. Ehad cannot mean "absolute unity," but must refer to a composite unity.

Next I began to search for the name of Jesus in the Old Testament. In my study, I found that 275 years before Christ, King Ptolemy Philadelphus summoned men from Palestine and commanded them to translate the Hebrew Scriptures into the Greek vernacular. They took the Pentateuch first, and when they came to "Joshua" they translated it Yesous, written with a circumflex over it to show that there had been a suppression of the Hebrew that could not be expressed in Greek. When Joshua went into Canaan with the other eleven spies, he was called Yehoshua ("Jehovah is Savior"). That is exactly what the word "Jesus" means.

I could hold out in unbelief no longer. I was convinced of the truth of God as it is in Christ Jesus. I cried, "Lord, I believe that as Jehovah Yesous you made the atonement for me. I believe you made provision for me! From henceforth I will publicly confess Yeshua as my Savior and Lord!" Thus, after months of searching, I was convinced that Jesus was the righteous servant of Jehovah, Jehovah-tsidkenu, "The Lord our righteousness."

While I served as a rabbi, I had yearned to give the bereaved some hope and comfort, but I could not give what I did not possess. Now I could approach those in heart-breaking grief and tragedy and give them the satisfying words of the Lord Jesus, "I am the resurrection and the life, He who believes in me will live, even though he dies-, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." And again, "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."

There is but one eternal life, and one source of eternal life; that is God's Son. What a great and glorious message we, his redeemed ones, are commissioned to deliver today.