Satanism: The World of the Occult

The occult is on the rise; many young people are seeking their spiritual identity through Satanism.

Satanism has become an issue of great concern in our society. It is a phenomena that crosses the city limits into the rural areas of our nation. Satanism is not just a big city problem. The news wires carry story after story about young children being kidnapped, only to be found later as victims of some bizarre ritualistic crime. To help us gain a balanced perspective of the subject, C. S. Lewis in his book Screwtape Letters, says this about Satan:

There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe and to feel an unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.

As satanic involvement among our youth increases, we begin to see the primary goal of such activity. It has become clear, according to the data thus far analyzed by those who investigate satanic involvement, that the primary goal is to alter people's values and turn them against themselves, their beliefs, family, God, and society.

When we begin to take a close look at the occult, it becomes necessary to define terms. There is a great difference between cults and the occult. The term cult refers to a group of people polarized around one individual who is often a magnetic personality. This individual has his or her own understanding of truth, who God is, man's relationship to God, the existence of heaven and hell, as well as a number of other issues of faith. In most cases such individuals incorporate some degree of biblical truth into their teachings in order to gain a certain amount of credibility and in order to deceive the unwary.

The term occult means "hidden" or those things or teachings that are "unknown" or secret. So, the occult is the seeking after knowledge of unknown information, knowledge that is gained beyond the five senses. Therefore, knowledge is received by some supernatural involvement or connection.

Anton LaVey of the First Church of Satan in San Francisco, California, says that

Satanism is a blatantly selfish, brutal religion. It is based on the belief that man is inherently a selfish, violent creature... that the earth will be ruled by those who fight to win.

Satanism challenges the biblical teaching regarding man's relationship to others. We are to esteem others better than ourselves, and we are to be team players. In 1 Corinthians we read about being a part of the body of Christ, whereas, Satanism esteems the "self" over others.

Young satanists believe that the strong will rule with Satan. Once they are sufficiently involved, they often make a pact with Satan. They commit themselves to a future date when they will take their own lives by suicide. They believe that if they submit themselves to Satan in death, they will come back in another life as a stronger being and rule with him forever. According to recent statistics, fourteen young people a day take their own lives. A major concern for those who uphold a Judeo-Christian worldview is that this generation is becoming detached and is losing all sense of morality. Many have lost their mooring. It is imperative for the church, as a corporate body, and we as individuals, to share the message that Jesus Christ is the only possible solution to our emotional and spiritual needs.

The Power that Entices

Power has become an obsession with young satanists. It is sought after on the physical, mental, and spiritual levels. According to one former occultist, the greatest lure into the occult is "power" and "knowledge." Not just corporate power but personal power. Gaining knowledge that others do not possess is another aspect of the occult. When an individuals have more knowledge it affords them a degree of power over those who do not have access to that knowledge.

Likewise, Satanism offers its lure to the youth in our society. Drugs and sex have become the bait that so often ensnare the unsuspecting.

With the increase of satanic activity, a profile of those involved in Satanism has emerged. They are generally from a white, middle to upper-middle class family. In most cases they are bright and do well in school; however, they are often bored and are not challenged to meet their full potential. They tend to have a low self-worth and are unable to distinguish between right and wrong because of their relative ethical system. They often have problems in the home and in relating to other people around them. They use drugs and are sexually promiscuous. It is a rare occasion when these last two elements are not present in the mix.

Abuse, both physically and emotionally, is another aspect of this mix. Young satanists are often abused children who know no other way to relate to people. Some are a part of a multi- generational family involved in worshiping Satan as savior.

Anton LaVey, Satanist High Priest of the First Church of Satan in San Francisco gives us a glimpse of how Satan is seen in his book The Satanic Bible:

We hold Satan as a symbolic personal savior, who takes care of mundane, fleshly, carnal things.

Satan has attempted to usurp the place of Christ in redeeming mankind. He has endeavored to establish himself as a god who is equal to or greater than Jehovah and in a sense render God ineffective. LaVey goes on to say that "God exists as a universal force, a balancing factor in nature, too impersonal to care one whit whether we live or die."

Therefore, the Judeo-Christian God is inaccessible and has no compassion. Thus, Satan becomes the solution to man's deepest needs.

Satanism leads one into bondage through mind control and fear, whereas Christianity allows the individual the freedom of choice. We have the opportunity to either accept God's free gift of life or reject Him and simply exist separate from God's love.

An Agent of Change

Music has always been at the center of the youth culture. The problem arises when the lyrics promote aberrant behavior. The Night Stalker, Richard Ramirez of Los Angeles, believed that Satan made him invincible. Police say the style of the brutal rapes and 16 murders Ramirez committed resembled the lyrics of the song "Night Prowler" on AC/DC's LP "Highway to Hell."

Along with Ramirez' fascination with AC/DC, he used cocaine and PCP in conjunction with a deep interest in Satan worship. He believed that Satan would protect him and not allow harm to come to him. According to a People magazine article as long ago as September 1985,

Rock 'n roll is turning too often to sex, Satanism, drugs and violence for its major themes and corrupting the values and views of unwary young people.

The lyrics of the last few years of the 1980s have continued on a downward slope. Rachel Matthews, an artist and repertoire representative for Capitol Records, recruits new groups for her company. Her comments regarding a newly signed band reveal what she, as one individual representing the music industry, is looking for in a band:

I was just going, 'Oh (expletive)! I've never heard anything like this!' I've heard plenty of metal and speed metal, but it was just so intense and out of control, just like this caged psychosis going on. I loved it, because you could actually understand the lyrics. And even if they're morbid and gruesome, it's really cool that you could understand what they're saying. It just makes it twice as evil. I like that." (Dallas Life Magazine, 1 July 1988)

The demo that interested Ms. Matthews in the group contained songs like "Die in Pain" and "Foaming at the Mouth."

The music that causes the greatest concern is the various types of "metal" music. Metal has been classified into three types. First, is party metal, and it represents the most popular style of music. Groups like Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, and Def Leppard are representative of party metal. They tend to glorify sexuality and the party spirit.

The second type is "trash metal" represented by groups like Metallica, Anthrax, and Megadeth. The primary focus of "trash metal" is violence and death.

The third type is known as "black metal" and is overtly satanic. The lyrics encourage such activities as incest, necrophilia, rape, torture, and human sacrifice. Black metal is represented by groups like Venom and Slayer.

King Diamond is perhaps the most satanic of all "black metal" groups. He openly professes Satan and incorporates a large amount of satanic activity into his performances.

Music has always been an agent of change in our society. It tends to shape the moral attitudes of each generation. As Christians we should be especially concerned about the lyrics in the music of the youth culture. We cannot afford to allow another generation to become polluted with the immoral themes found in today's music. As parents it is imperative that we maintain open communication lines with our young people. Without open communication it becomes improbable that we can affect the listening habits of our children. Second, we cannot be hypocritical in our personal listening habits. Third, we need to become familiar with the type of music our children listen to and be willing to acknowledge the good and be prepared to positively criticize that which is not appropriate within our household.

Last, we as parents need to recognize that if our child is involved in rebellious music, we must attempt to understand what unmet need in his life is being met by his musical diet. Galatians 5:19-21 says that

The deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery . . . those who practice such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Therefore, it is imperative for us as adults and youth to only listen to and think upon those lyrics that would honor God and His principles.

The Games of Destruction

Satan has used a number of tools over the centuries to ensnare the naive. The Ouija Board has proven to be particularly useful. According to the Dictionary of Mysticism the Ouija Board is "an instrument for communication with the spirits of the dead." The Ouija Board is an open door into the world of the occult and demonic activity. Disembodied spirits speak to the living through the medium of the Ouija Board. This information is believed to be truth from the other side and is not recognized for what it is: Lucifer's delusion to gain our allegiance.

Jane Roberts, the author of The Seth Material, relates her story regarding the Ouija Board. She was about to write a book on ESP, and to stimulate her thoughts, she and her husband used a Ouija Board to gain perspective. After a few sessions they were able to receive messages from someone who later identified himself as Seth. The use of the Ouija Board and the gradual, but ever-growing, influence of Seth in Jane's life brought her to the point of possession. Her mind would enter a trance state and a deep male voice would begin to speak, indicating he had a message to get across to our world the wisdom that it was only now ready for. Over a period of ten years Seth produced through Jane over 5000 typewritten records of alleged higher esoteric truth. Then Seth tried to kill her. Though she had not previously believed in demons, this experience changed her mind.

Internationally-known observer of the occult, Kurt Koch, says that by the use of the Ouija Board revelations from the past and predictions about the future are made.

Edmond Gruss tells us in his book, Cults and the Occult in the Age of Aquarius, that there have been "many cases of 'possession' after a period of Ouija Board use." Supernatural contact is commonly made through use of the board and has become a primary tool of Satan in reaching young people.

The Rev. Donald Page of the Christian Spiritualist Church reports that most possession cases he has dealt with are people who have used the Ouija Board. Francoise Strachan's book, A Company of Devils, states that the Ouija Board is "one of the easiest and quickest ways to become possessed."

The greatest danger of the Ouija Board is that an individual begins to place his trust and future hope in the message the board brings. As a Christian our only source of revelation regarding future things is to be God's Word. We are to look to Jesus Christ and His teachings to properly understand our problems and seek a solution. Deuteronomy 18 tells us to beware of mediums and those who practice divination.

First Chronicles 10 tells the story of Saul who was unfaithful to the Lord and consulted a medium, seeking guidance and did not seek guidance from the Lord. Therefore, the Lord slew him and turned the Kingdom over to David.

Christians can offer several reasons as to why one should not be involved in the use of the Ouija Board. One is simply that the Bible condemns it as being involvement in the occult (Lev. 19:31, 20:6). Another relates to the tragic experiences of those who have been involved with this medium. And then there's the fact that the messages received are often false and misleading. They are often obscene and contrary to biblical teaching.

The following passages in Scripture give us, and those who would seek God's perspective, where to go for truth.

"And when they shall say unto you, seek unto them that have familiar spirits and into wizards . . . should not a people seek unto their God?" (Isaiah 8:19)

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, . . . and it shall be given him." (James 1:5)

The Great Delivery

God is able to deliver those who seek Him. Victory is ours. But first, we must receive God's power.

We have been discussing the problems of satanic involvement. Whether we become deceived by use of the Ouija Board, music, divination or by Dungeons and Dragons, the end result is the same occult bondage.

Mark Bubeck's Moody Press book, The Adversary, gives us a sound basis for applying sound biblical doctrine in resisting the devil as he attempts to infiltrate our lives. Basic to all victory of the believer over Satan is the absolute truth of biblical doctrine. There is no substitute. The greatest key in warfare against Satan is when we recognize that God's truth is our only offense.

Bubeck refers to "doctrinal prayer" as an effective tool to use in spiritual warfare. The sixth chapter of Ephesians tells us that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces. We cannot effectively engage Satan in warfare on the natural plane; we must enter the spiritual dimension to adequately challenge Satan and defeat him and his host. According to Bubeck, doctrinal prayer

...is the practice of praying or applying the objective, absolute truths of the Word of God as the hope and basis of resolving our prayer burden.

Doctrinal prayer presupposes that we have a deep understanding of the Scriptures. Bible memorization is a must for this type of prayer.

Another aspect of our spiritual warfare is that of resistance. We are called to resist the devil. The term "resist" basically means to stand, to stand invincibly or successfully. We can stand firm and remain invincible because of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. Jesus was victorious over Satan at the cross. As God's people, we are victorious over Satan because of Jesus. We can successfully resist Satan as we stand in right relationship with Christ. Since we are in Christ, and He has all authority in heaven and earth, we are in the only place of victory.

Ephesians 6 speaks of our spiritual armor. With the exception of the sword, this armor is defensive in nature. We have the victory; it has been won we simply need to stand our ground. Satan has been defeated at the cross (Col. 2:8-15) and made powerless (Heb. 2:14-15). The believer needs to stand in his rightful position in Christ as victor; Jesus has already won the battle.

The Holy Spirit of God shows us the way to righteousness and restoration. Satan attempts to convince us that we are so bad that God wouldn't want anything to do with us. He seeks to convince us that there is no forgiveness for what we have done or that we have committed the unpardonable sin.

The Holy Spirit uses God's Word to give us hope and assurance of God's love and forgiveness, whereas Satan creates despair, doubt, resentment, and anger toward God, His Word, and His people. Satan intends for us to feel as though no one as bad as we are could ever really be saved.

Doctrine and right understanding is important to our spiritual welfare. It is the foundation upon which everything stands. Without it we are subject to every wind that blows, every false teaching that Satan would use to lure us.

As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who have trusted in His blood atonement, we have a vast number of tools to render the enemy ineffective. Power, position, authority, total victory over Satan's world belong to us. All that remains is for us to appropriate God's promises and recognize our position in Christ, focus our attention against the devil's work, and to rest in what our Lord has done for us.

Satanism is a growing concern in our culture. With this growth comes a great deal of confusion and a lack of understanding. The following information is designed to help you understand the problem by clearly defining the different aspects of the occult and giving you concise information that you can use.

Defining the Occult

Cult

A cult is a group of people polarized around an individual with a magnetic personality, who deviates from orthodox Christianity by distorting the central message of the Bible by additional revelation or by introducing their personal understanding of primary biblical doctrines such as the person of Jesus Christ, heaven, hell, salvation, atonement, the virgin birth, etc.

Occult

Secret or hidden knowledge. This knowledge is not discerned by the five senses and is therefore, supernaturally received through the practice of divination.

Witchcraft

The use of scripturally forbidden supernatural powers to manipulate people and events. Commonly known as the "craft of the wise" or "wicca," the worship of nature and feminine energies mother nature. Witchcraft is manifested in two opposing views: white magic, and black magic or witchcraft (see Deut. 18:10)

White Magic

The use of supernatural power to manipulate a person or an event to bring about good. The practice of divination is used to bring about "positive" results such as knowledge, healing, etc.

Black Magic

The use of supernatural power to manipulate a person or an event to bring about evil or destruction. Manipulation is achieved by use of rituals and the casting of spells.

Satanism

Unlike Witchcraft, Satanism is the worship of Satan, formerly known as Lucifer, and the practice of Black Magic. Satanism is a reaction against the Christian church and the Word of God in particular. Satanism promotes a do-what-you-want attitude and is ultimately the worship of oneself.

Categories of Involvement

Individuals involved in satanic activity fall into one of four categories:

1. Multi-generational international organization
2. National organizations
3. Independent self-styled groups
4. Individual dabblers

The greatest increase in involvement is among the latter group the dabbler. The dabbler is, in most cases, from a middle to upper- middle class, caucasian home and is a user of drugs and other controlled substances.

The larger concern is not in the number of young people involved in satanic activity but what they are capable of doing when they become absorbed in the worship of Satan.

Satanism centers around involvement in animal sacrifice, blood ritual, sex, the use of drugs and sometimes murder. According to "The Addiction Letter" (1/89),

Most Satanism revolves around a drug and alcohol dependent lifestyle which glorifies violence, hate, lying, stealing, and vandalism. The involved youngster craves a higher power to validate . . . chemical dependence and Satan fills the spiritual void.

The Mental Profile of the Dabbler

• Rebellion
• Boredom
• Low self-worth

Warning Signs of the Dabbler

The dabbler is likely to have difficulty relating to peers and in most cases, they have withdrawn from their family and religious heritage. They tend to become involved in a variety of the following:

• A drop in grades
• Burglary
• Drug use
• Physical and sexual abuse
• Mind control
• Animal mutilation
• Increased hatred
• Murder
• Suicide

Drug abuse is the common denominator in all levels of Satanism. Drugs have become the primary source of mind-altering experiences for the Satanist, thereby, giving him a false sense of power and spiritual potency.

Characteristics that may indicate satanic involvement

• Avoiding family members
• A change in friends
• Becoming secretive about activities
• Loss of interest in extra-curricular activities
• Personality changes
• An unusual interest in books, movies, videos, etc. with an occult theme
• Use of drugs and alcohol
• Lack of attendance of worship with family

Individuals are recruited into satanic groups by any number or combination of the following:

• Free drugs or sex
• Companionship
• Power
• Money
• Pornography
• Personal choice

Satan's Goal

According to scripture (Matt. 4:9, 2 Cor. 4:4, Rev. 12:9), Satan's goal is to deceive man by blinding him to the truth of the gospel and to receive worship for himself (Isa. 14:12-14). On a more practical level Satan desires to alter an individual's values and turn them against themselves, their beliefs, family, God and society.

The Church of Satan

Anton Szandor LaVey formed the Church of Satan in 1966. LaVey, the author of The Satanic Bible is perhaps the most common source of satanic ritual and understanding available to young people today. It can be found in most large secular bookstores. The Satanic Bible has sold more than 600,000 copies since it was first published by Avon Books in 1969.

Secret things

Another common denominator in satanic groups is secrecy. Individuals keep a journal of activity, rituals, charms, or messages in a notebook, blank book and sometimes even a floppy disc. This information is often written in an alphabet that is not widely known. Alphabets commonly used by occultists are: the witches alphabet, the celtic alphabet used by the Druids, the Enochian alphabet, the Egyptian and others.

Personal Initiation

Initiation plays a major role in group activity. Through initiation an individual is given a chance to declare total allegiance to Satan by participation. Often one will sever a portion of a finger or a toe to indicate their commitment to the unholy one.

Other acts include being a participant in a ritual where mutilation of an animal or human is a part of the activity. These acts are usually video-taped to be used at a later time to keep the individual in line if need be. In some cases a criminal act is perpetrated where the initiate is involved in a key role. An unholy communion of sorts is taken during initiatory rituals where a cup or chalice (usually stolen from a church) is used containing a mixture of wine, blood (human or animal) and urine. Satanism is not for the faint-hearted.

Other methods of initiation include body markings. An inverted cross may be burned into one's forearm or chest, etc.

Body Markings

Commonly used markings include the following (it is important to note that body markings can be used for the preparation of a sacrifice, as well as initiation into a group):

• Goathead
• Inverted cross
• Skull
• Pentagram
• Baphomet
• MENA (amen)
• Black rose
• Swastika

Melihat ikatan Roh Jahat Di Alam Roh (Kesaksian K.E. Hagin)

Suatu peristiwa terjadi pada tahun 1958 ketika saya memimpin suatu kebaktian kebangunan rohani di Pueblo, Colorado. Sementara kami sedang berdoa khusus untuk orang-orang sakit pada suatu malam, maka datanglah seorang laki-laki berasal dari Colorado Springs minta didoakan. Dia mengatakan kepadaku bahwa dia sering merasa gugup, tidak dapat tidur, dan bahwa ia sering minum obat tidur agar bisa tenang. Istrinya kemudian menceritakan kepada saya bahwa mereka sudah siap untuk menyerahkan dia ke suatu rumah sakit jiwa.

Kemudian saya menumpangkan tangan ke atas dirinya dan berdoa untuk kesembuhannya supaya syarafnya boleh mendapat kesembuhan; agar tubuhnya boleh mendapatkan kesembuhan mulai dari ujung kepala sampai ke telapak kakinya. Kemudian saya pun terus berdoa untuk orang sakit berikutnya, yang sedang berada dalam barisan antrian. Saya melanjutkan berdoa untuk orang lain itu selama 10 menit lagi. Orang laki-laki tadi sudah kembali ke tempat duduknya, yang terdapat di sebelah kanan saya.

Ketika saya menengok kepadanya, maka saya pun segera dikuasai oleh Roh. Tuhan memperkenankan saya untuk melihat ke alam roh, lalu saya melihat satu roh jahat sedang bertengger di atas bahu laki-laki itu. Kedua lengan roh jahat itu sedang memeluk dengan ketat sekeliling kepala orang itu. Saya dapat menyaksikan kenyataan ini dengan jelas, akan tetapi tidak ada seorangpun di antara yang hadir yang menyadari, apa yang sedang berlangsung.

Saya memanggil laki-laki itu mendekati saya, dan ketika ia berdiri di depan saya, maka saya pun berkata,”Hai kau roh jahat yang menyergap dan membelenggu otak dan pikiran orang ini, saya perintahkan kau keluar dari dalam tubuhnya sekarang juga di dalam nama Tuhan Yesus Kristus.”

Ketika saya mengucapkan kata-kata ini, maka roh jahat itupun terlepas dari kepala orang itu dan jatuh tergeletak di atas lantai. Roh jahat itu menjawab kepada saya,”sebenarnya saya tidak mau meninggalkan orang ini, akan tetapi saya sadar bahwa jika engkau mengatakan demikian, maka saya pun harus melakukannya.

“Bukan saja kau harus keluar dari tubuh orang ini, tetapi kau harus keluar juga meninggalkan ruangan ini dengan segera!’’ saya perintahkan dia. Lalu ia pun lari terbirit-birit meninggalkan ruangan lewat pintu samping.

Suatu senyum lebar merekah pada wajah laki-laki itu, dia pun mengacungkan tangannya tinggi-tinggi sambil berteriak,”SEKARANG SAYA BEBAS! SAYA SUDAH BEBAS!” Meskipun saya tidak menceritakan kepadanya apa yang sedang saya saksikan dalam penglihatanku, orang laki-laki itu berkata,”Rasanya bagaikan ada sebuah besi sedang mengikat sekeliling kepalaku, semakin hari semakin ketat. Semakin hari semakin berat beban yang terkandung di batok kepalaku, akan tetapi tiba-tiba saja beban yang berat itu rontok terlepas dan hilang lenyap.”

Apa Arti INJIL ?

1. Kabar Baik

2. Kabar Kemenangan / Kebebasan / Kemerdekaan

3. Kabar Keselamatan

MENGUSIR WEREWOLF dengan KUASA NAMA YESUS

Suatu sore aku sedang mengendarai mobil dari kantorku kembali ke rumah sakit untuk melihat seorang pasien yang makin memburuk keadaannya. Aku sendirian di dalam mobil dan sedang melewati daerah yang sepi yang tidak ada rumah atau bangunan, kira-kira berjarak 1,5 km. Tiba-tiba, sekitar satu blok di depanku ada seekor “binatang buas” besar menghadang di tengah jalan. 

Quitting Drugs with God's Help (Roger Henricksen)

I HAVE BEEN USING COPENHAGEN SINCE I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, IM NOW 31 YEARS OLD. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 7 YEARS AND HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. THEY WOULD ALWAYS ASK ME TO STOP, BUT I WASNT READY TO ALTHOUGH I HAVE TRIED SEVERAL TIMES. ONCE YOU HAVE A FAMILY IT MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

IN THE LAST YEAR I TRIED TO STOP WITHOUT ANY LUCK. WHEN I DID I WOULD SWEAT IN MY SLEEP, START SHAKING, HEADACHES, MOODY,ETC. I COULDNT STOP, I WAS JUST TOO ADDICTED. WHEN I WOULD TAKE A DIP I WOULD HEAR A SMALL VOICE INSIDE OF ME SAYING I REALLY SHOULDNT BE DOING THIS, BUT I DIDNT WANT TO HEAR IT, SO I WOULD IGNORE IT.

WELL, SINCE THAT TIME MY FAMILY AND I STARTED GOING TO A GOSPEL CHURCH, MAN I COULD LISTEN TO MY PREACHER HARD PREACH ALL DAY ABOUT THE WORD. I COULDNT GET ENOUGH. I STARTED GOING 3 TIMES A WEEK, I WAS AND AM CRAVING THE WORD. NEXT WE GOT SAVED AND ARE SCHEDULED TO BE BAPTIZED ON AUG 5. WELL, ON A THURSDAY I LEFT WORK EARLY AT 11:00 AND ON THE WAY HOME, ABOUT 30 MIN AWAY,I GRAB MY CAN OF COPENHAGEN AND OPENED IT. THIS IS WHEN I HEARD GOD SPEAK TO ME AS CLEAR AS SPEAKING TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE. HE TOLD ME TO STOP, DO NOT TAKE ANOTHER DIP, NO MORE. IT WAS A VERY FIRM BUT PEACEFUL VOICE. I COULDNT DO ANYTHING BUT STARE AT THE CAN AND SAID YES SIR. I HAD NO DOUBT THAT THIS WAS GOD. THEN HE SAID TO ME, IF YOU DO NOT TAKE ANY MORE, NOT ONE, YOU WILL BE FINANCIALLY SECURE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

SEE, WHEN I PRAY, I TELL GOD THAT WHATEVER HE NEEDS ME TO DO, JUST LEAD ME TO DO HIS WORK THROUGH ME, AND THAT WHAT EVER THAT MAY BE I CAN FINANCIALLY TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY. SO I BELIEVE GOD WAS TESTING ME TO SEE IF I MEANT WHAT I PRAYED. IN OTHER WORDS, I WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYER IF YOU GIVE UP YOUR ADDICTION. I TOLD HIM I HAVE TRIED BUT I NEEDED HIS HELP AND HE TOLD ME, WHEN I HAVE A CRAVING, GIVE PRAISE TO GOD AND HE WOULD TAKE AWAY MY CRAVING. I GOT HOME AND WAS AMAZED AT WHAT HAPPENED.

BUT 2 HOURS LATER I COULDNT FIGHT THE CRAVING SO I TOOK A DIP. I KNEW RIGHT THEN I MISSED UP. I CHEWED THE REST OF THE NIGHT. WELL, AT 3 A.M. I HAVE THE WORST DREAM OF MY LIFE. TO MAKE IT SHORT MY LITTLE GIRL WAS SHOT 3 TIMES IN THE CHEST AND DIED IN MY ARMS. I HATE THAT DREAM. I AWOKE IN A COLD SWEAT, WIDE AWAKE, BUT I WASNT CONCERNED ABOUT MY GIRL, INSTEAD GOD SPOKE TO ME AGAIN, HE SAID, GO DOWN STAIRS AND GET THE BIBLE, TURN TO MATTHEWS AND READ THE FIRST THING YOU LAY UPON YOUR EYES. IN RED THE VERSE SAID, WHY HAVE YOU FORESAKEN WHAT I HAVE SPOKE TO YOU. MAN I WAS BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS. ABOUT 5 MIN LATER, THE LAST TIME I WOULD HEAR HIS VOICE CLEARLY HE SAID, STAY IN MATTHEWS, FLIP A FEW PAGES AND ONCE AGAIN READ THE FIRST THING YOU LAY UPON YOUR EYES. IT SAID, IF YOU BELIEVE, YOU WILL BE ANSWERED THROUGH PRAYER. I WANTED TO STAY UP AND TALK TO THE LORD BUT I WAS WORE OUT AND FELL ASLEEP.

FIRST THING THE NEXT DAY, I TAKE A DIP. WHAT AN IDIOT I MUST BE. BUT NOW I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE IN THE FLESH. I OWN A DINER. I'M COOKING DURING LUNCH AND I FIND MYSELF TELLING MY COOK WHAT HAPPENED OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS. IT IS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS HIT ME. I LEAVE THE COOK AREA, FULL OF FOOD ON THE GRILL TO BURN, GO TO THE BACK ROOM CALL MY WIFE TO COME UP HERE FAST SOMETHING IS HAPPENING TO ME, I START TO CRY AND I COULD FEEL THE HOLY SPIRIT IN ME. WHAT A FEELING. MY WIFE GETS THERE AND I TELL HER TO GO GET ME SOME NICOTINE PATCHES SO I COULD QUIT. SHE GOES. I HEAR THE SMALL VOICE IN ME SAY, I TOLD YOU TO PRAISE GOD AND THE CRAVING WOULD BE TAKEN AWAY.

MAN WHY DIDNT I REMEMBER THAT THE FIRST TIME. I HAVNT HAD A DIP SINCE THAT HAPPENED WITHOUT ANY WITHDRAWLS. TO THIS DAY IF I HAVE A CRAVING, AND I DO, I PRAISE GOD AND THE CRAVING GOES AWAY. THANK YOU LORD. I NOW HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND WHEN I HEAR THAT SMALL VOICE INSIDE OF ME, I KNOW IT IS THE HOLY SPIRIT SPEAKING TO ME AND I LISTEN AND I DO WHAT IT SAYS, THE FIRST TIME!

ROGER HENRICKSEN
EL RENO, OK.

Rehou1@aol.com

Set free from drugs, seeing and angel and hearing God's audible voice

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up after a long relationship, and I was really tore apart inside... I started getting heavy into smoking pot.... I would look forward to going home just to get high... I would do it everyday, literally. I was going on my 6th month straight of this routine, when one night I was laying in bed completely baked... I had just bought a new ounce (which cost me over $80) and everything just came crashing in on me. I started feeling really bad about what I was doing and went back and forth for about a half hour debating in my mind whether I should just flush the whole ounce. I finally decided to do it...

For the next two weeks or so after that, a lot of weird things started happening. I would see situations around me, and have strong feelings to do things for those people. A lot of the time I didn't even want to do it, but the feeling inside was so strong I had to. I had been telling my ex-girlfriend all these weird things I was going through... Anyway I found out my Aunt had a brain tumor and was getting surgery for it, so I thought I should pray for her. It had been a LOOONG time since I had prayed before, but as I was finishing, I had this thought enter my mind that was basically along the line of, "you're going to go to church tomorrow, and when the pastor calls for people to go down front, you go down front." I didn't think much of it, and just passed it off. Well it turns out my ex girlfriend had been telling one of her friends all that stuff I was going through, and that friend went to a church in Malibu. Her friend actually called me that day and invited me to go on Sunday to her church. Needless to say I was a little tripped out, I thought it was strange, and I guess that's why I said okay.

So Sunday morning I headed out for Malibu. I was really late, and had almost decided to just turn around and go home, but I decided to keep going.

I was right at downtown LA...with all the skyscrapers right there when all of a sudden I heard this voice. It was an audible voice, just as if I was speaking out loud to you. He said "Joshua, see that dove, that's for you" and as soon as I heard it, I saw a white dove start to fly as if someone had just dropped it.... AS SOON as I saw the dove, this bolt like electricity shot through my body. It didn't hurt or anything, but I just broke down and started to cry. I pulled off my sunglasses because they were getting all fogged up, and I heard the voice again...as clear as day, and He said, "Joshua, see that man on the side of the road, He's one of my angels." And I looked, and saw kneeling on the side of the 10 freeway a man with very dark skin, and pure white clothes...so white they almost seemed to give off their own light. Again, as soon as I saw him, that same "electricity" shot through me.

Now everything was happening so fast, and my mind was reeling trying to connect everything. Before I was able to, I heard His voice again, (and it was the last time I heard him audibly) and He said, "Joshua, my love is all around you and my signs are everywhere" and after he said that, I saw a white balloon rise straight up from the freeway directly ahead of me. This all happened in a matter of seconds, although thinking back on it now, it seems like it took an hour. But after the balloon, everything hit home and I realized it was really God! That night I went to the church again, and at the end of the service, sure enough, the pastor called for people to come down front if they wanted to. I ran down front and stood eagerly expecting something to happen....5 minutes go by, then 10, I said forget it, and turned to leave just as someone came up and started praying. It was a quick little prayer, and then they left. So I thought, okay, I'm outta here, and as I turned again to leave, I felt Him very strongly say, "No, I'm not finished yet...just stand here and be patient." So I stopped and waited.

Almost 20 more minutes went by and by that time I couldn't be patient anymore so I turned to walk out. Again, just as I did, another man came up and started praying for me. All of a sudden I started to feel that electricity again...really subtle in my feet. But then it started getting stronger and it felt like it was filling up my whole body until I couldn't even stand anymore. So there I was on the floor, feeling this energy flowing through my body in waves... I started getting freaked out... I thought this was all wrong and I was even starting to be afraid. It felt like something was literally rising out of me...this really made me afraid but then I heard His voice again. It was so clear, I couldn't even tell if it was audible or not (I don't know if the people around me could hear it, but I doubt they could). But he said "Joshua don't be afraid... I'm cleansing you of your sins... I'm taking away all of those things of the past" and I just remember the comfort that flooded my body as soon as He spoke. I wasn't afraid anymore. Then He said, "Joshua, I'm holding your hand right now."

And as soon as He said that, my left hand "exploded" into the most intense feeling of the electricity I have ever experienced to this day... It didn't hurt at all, but it was so intense... I could feel His power... and I KNEW He was holding my hand! Then He said "Joshua, now you know I am real...you've heard about me since you were a kid...I am Jesus...I am the living God" Then my mind started flooding with memories from all through my life....moments where He had protected me and been with me, and I had never even known it.

It was absolutely incredible!!

All of that happened June 13, 1999...my life hasn't been the same since! :)

Now I have an awesome relationship with Him...although some times are better than others.... We talk a lot, but now it is inside...between my spirit and His....I hear him in much the same way you hear these words within yourself as you read this letter. That voice is your own spirit and it exists independent of your flesh and blood body. That part of you which really makes you who you are, is immortal...it will live forever. Jesus was and is fully God... what He represents as a man was the full consciousness of God, entering into this world... His creation... being plugged in and taking on all the physical aspects of you and I.... and when Jesus gave His life as a sacrifice on the cross, it was to be a covering for each and everyone of us... to wash away all of our sins that keep us separated from God. When Jesus rose from the dead, it was a promise to all who will believe in Him, that they too will be risen and break free from the chains of death. In the spirit, our sins are clearly seen to anyone who would look at you. So that means that every dark dirty little secret you have within you, that you wouldn't want anyone to know, would be naked and exposed when you are purely spirit (like when you die and leave the body) except when we are in the spirit things are much, much clearer, so even little secrets you may have now would bring an incredible amount of shame and embarrassment there.

People will literally run and hide in the outer darkness, to be as far from the light as possible. God is light...to be separated from Him, and be fully aware of all our sins would be absolute torment in the spiritual world. Hell is real.

Jesus' sacrifice actually washes away all of those dirty secrets...and they disappear....you will have nothing to hide...no embarrassment or shame. You will be able to sit in the infinite creators' lap, as His child... filled with His love which is beyond words to describe how wonderful it is.... you will be able to explore the infinite mystery of His creation... to travel to worlds without bounds... to move at the speed of thought... to exist outside of time, and talk with people from all ages of the world... and then Heaven.... a place so amazing and wonderful that the least aspect of it is beyond any man's ability to even imagine how amazing it will be!! And it is all given freely to whoever will recognize their own sin and ask for forgiveness... To ask God to come and live within their own hearts, and to fill them with His love. The only way one can be absolutely positive in their future after this world, is to know the One who can transform your mind and present you faultless before the throne of God... and that One is Jesus... living within your heart... who you get to know better than your closest friend.

That's what this is all about for me. If it was just religion or just church, it couldn't change my life. But Jesus is REAL... He is ALIVE and active in our lives already... He is my most precious friend... to make the next step and actually meet Him would transform your life. It's amazing and it's so simple!!!

All you have to do is talk to God... I'm not going to write a fancy prayer or tell you exactly what to say... It's between you and God... just be real with Him... Admit that you have made mistakes and have sinned, then ask Him to come inside your heart and wash all of those things away. Just pour your heart out to Him, and thank Him for sacrificing Himself for YOU... All it takes is an honest and sincere heart which recognizes it's own brokenness, and cries out for help. God is AWESOME!! And He LOVES YOU with an EVERLASTING LOVE....

If you would like to talk or share your own experiences with me... or if you would like to have someone to pray for / with you, please write me!

joshw@mirageinkjet.com

Delivered from Drug Addiction and Depression (Michele Appelbaum)

1963 was an interesting year in history. The Pink Panther, Dr. Strangelove, and Surfin' U.S.A. were big in popular culture. Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman in space. Martin Luther King Jr. made his "I Have a Dream" speech. President Kennedy was assassinated. The Supreme Court decided once and for all to make prayer in public schools a crime. And I was born.

I grew up listening for airplanes flying by, always believing that each one was the Russian missile that would nuke me and end life in all parts of the civilized world. When it wasn't missiles, it was the fear of tornados or lightning, or maybe the Passover Angel of Death from The Ten Commandments. There was always something to be afraid of - accidents, illness, dismemberment. I didn't know how the end would come, but I was sure of two things - I was bad and God was going to punish me somehow. This was a pretty strange attitude for me to have, considering that I was raised without any organized religion. Well, my folks did drop me off along with my brother and sister at Sunday school at the local Lutheran church for a couple months when I was really young, but that doesn't count.

Perhaps that attitude wasn't so strange when you think about it. If I had been raised in an organized religion, I might have learned earlier that God is a loving, forgiving Father, not the thrower of lightning bolts that I imagined. Whatever the case, belief in God was never an issue for me. I always believed in God. I just had the mistaken impression that He was out to get me.

Despite my family and loving friends, I was always a lonely person inside. I always felt guilty about everyone's pain and suffering, thinking I must be responsible. Nothing in life satisfied me or filled up the emptiness inside of me. Highschool was rough. My friends and I all got into doing drugs. I started out with pot and drinking, then progressed to tranquilizers, sleeping pills, acid, speed, and trying out unknown medications for my friends. Guess you could say I was a risk taker. It's only by the grace of God that I'm alive. Even though drugs relieved my anxiety and boredom, I was very depressed through most of high school and just barely made it through. Throughout all that time, I wondered where God was and why He didn't seem to care that I was suffering. But I had a good friend who was my teacher in eighth grade. She took the time to talk to me on the phone almost every night, and see me most days after school. Knowing that she cared about me gave me the will to go on living.

In the Fall of my senior year of high school, I met Larry, the man I would marry. He was attending college, studying to become an electrical engineer. I was impressed with his intelligence and sense of humor and we fell deeply in love almost immediately. At first, we made plans to get married in August 1981 after I graduated, but later we decided to heed his parents' counsel and wait until he graduated from college.

That Spring, my two best friends met a man who was the proprietor of a Christian coffee house called The Rainbow's End. They were walking down Kingshighway on one side of the street when they heard music coming from a building on the other side of the street, so they crossed the four-lane road and approached the building.

This man came outside and met them and invited them inside. My friends had no idea who they were meeting; they were only interested in the music they heard; but they went inside with him. Once inside, this man and the other Christians who were there told them about the love and salvation of Jesus and they accepted the Lord that night. As an interesting sidebar, my friends had a large supply of black beauties (speed) with them, and that night, they flushed it all down the toilet.

The next Monday at school, they told me about their experience and I was angered by the whole thing. I was angry that they flushed all their speed. I was angry that they listened to a bunch of Jesus freaks. And I was angry about the prospect of losing my best drugging buddies (they now said they loved only Jesus and would never do drugs again).

For the next week, they told me over and over again about Jesus, God's love, and the Rainbow's End. That's all they talked about. At first, I was too angry to listen. Then I was mildly curious. Then I realized that I was dying to have this peace and joy they had! So I agreed to go with them to the Rainbow's End on March 6, 1981, the next Friday night (one of my usual party nights). That night I heard about the love of Jesus and my great need for His salvation. He had been knocking at my door loudly all week, and that night I opened the door and let Him in. Larry gave his life to Jesus several weeks later, due in small part to my constant witness.

We've been saved and walking with Jesus ever since (well, sort of) but you know how the world and spiritual powers can get you down. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but never denied and put away the drugs in my life. I was a drug addict back then and stayed on drugs until I got married in 1984. Larry got a job with IBM and we moved to Kingston, New York and suddenly drugs were nowhere to be found. This was not a problem for Larry who never got into drugs. But it majorly bummed me out. We didn't know anyone at first, and after a few months, we met a couple who ran a Christian ministry. I started working at their ministry and they invited us to their church. Larry and I got involved and we were happy growing in the Lord and serving Him until I fell into a very deep depression.

I went back to St. Louis in June of 1987 for a two week vacation, fell in with some old acquaintances, started doing drugs again, and to make a long story short, lost all of my joy completely. My depression got worse and worse until finally I started seeing a psychiatrist who put me on antidepressants and tranquilizers. I quit the ministry and found a job as a desktop publisher at a service bureau. I was no longer doing illegal drugs, but the prescribed drugs made me so drowsy that it was hard to do my work, so after a year, I quit.

During this time, all I wanted was to move back to St. Louis so we could be near our friends and family. I had gotten very close to Larry's mom and wanted to be able to spend more time with her. After two years of begging and pleading, we finally moved back and I quickly fell back into old habits. I thought moving back to my home town would solve all my problems and I would magically be happy again. WRONG!!! Things got worse. I went to a shrink and ended up in the hospital on more drugs than I can take time to list here. When one thing didn't work after a few weeks, we'd try another drug, then another. At one point, I was on as many as eight different psychoactive drugs. My depression got steadily worse and I attempted suicide two times, both resulting in getting my stomach pumped and being placed in the lock-up ward. In all, I went in the hospital nine times between 1991 and 1995.

I had friends who tried to get me to see that all the drugs were what was messing up my life, but I refused to listen. Drugs were comforting. Drugs were my friends. Besides, my doctor wouldn't prescribe anything that would hurt me, would he? But he didn't know that I took a lot of his prescriptions any way I wanted to - sometimes 4 or 6 tranquilizers at a time, just to get a buzz. I wrecked two cars, broke my ankle falling down the stairs, had to appear in court twice for various things I did, and almost drove Larry to divorcing me. Yes kiddies, drugs are fun! Don't listen to those uncool adults who tell you drugs will ruin your life!

To make a long story a little shorter, things were coming to a head in the Spring of 1996. By then, I had begun losing any sense of reality. I was cutting my arms all the time with razor blades. None of my friends could help me, and Larry was about to throw me out of the house. It was very difficult for them to watch what I was going through. They loved me and tried repeatedly to help me, but I was on a destruction course, eyes straight ahead, refusing to see the red flags all around me. I got two dime bags of pot from a friend of a friend, started smoking that every few hours and taking big doses of tranquilizers I'd saved up, and before I knew it, I was totally disconnected from any rational thought. I don't know how to describe what it was like to be out of my mind, though I was there for several weeks. Much of that time is blacked out and I don't even remember it. I have some strange entries in my journal which make no sense. I do remember that it was very scary and very painful, and I was in a raw panic much of the time from fear that I would never be able to return to reality.

Out of desperation, I began calling a couple of old friends from New York who are Christians. I felt that there was a wall in heaven and that God was blocking out my prayers, refusing to have anything to do with me. I cried out to the Lord and heard nothing. But I had the sense to ask my friends to pray for me. At one point, I called one friend and I was so messed up that I couldn't even tell her what to pray for. I was sick and weak, and just begged her, "Pray for me. Just pray"; That was all I could say.

A day or two after that, I was listening to Alanis Morissette on the stereo - that song, "All I Really Want"; and all of a sudden it occurred to me that all I really wanted was Jesus. It just clicked in my head finally that He could heal me, take away my depression, remove my craving for drugs, and give me my mind back. I didn't even have to pray - I just made a decision right then and there that all I wanted in life from that point on was Jesus. I got angry at the drugs and how low they had brought me, and I took all the pills in the house, all the pot, even Robitussin LiquiGels, and put them on the dining room table. Then I just opened up bottle after bottle and threw the contents against the dining room wall. All the while, I was screaming the words to Alanis' song. It felt great and it was very therapeutic. When I was done, I felt better than I had for years, despite the huge mess all around me. There were hundreds of pills and pill fragments everywhere.

Larry came home and I explained to him what was going on and he went away for a few days. I cleaned up the mess and ever since then, I've been a sane person. Of course, there's a little more to it than that, but basically, that was the day that God reached out and totally healed me. I haven't been depressed at all since then, and have never craved or wanted any drugs either. I haven't used any prescription drugs, illegal drugs, or alcohol since then. Only God is able to bring about a change of that magnitude. And when He touches your life like that, you know it was God. My life is a living testimony of His miracle working power!

But it's not just His miraculous powers that I want to tell you about, it's His loving care for each one of us. I did feel many times that He didn't care for me, or that He was even out to get me. But despite my feelings for Him, my lack of faith, my total abandonment of Him, He never walked away from me. As I look back, when things were really bad and I felt so alone, locked up in a back hospital ward, or cutting my arms up at 3:00 a.m., He was still there, carrying me. He wept for me and with me. He gave me friends and family who love me. He protected me from myself. And He waited for me to see that I was ruining my life trying to live it my way. He showed me that all I had to do was truly want to live life on His terms.

A friend shared this allegory with me. When we fall, we are like a little child who is laying on the ground. Our Father comes along and wants to pick us up, but He can't help us unless we lifts our arms up to Him, then he has somewhere to hold on to. If you are in the kind of place I was in, hurting, wondering why you feel so abandoned and alone, lift up your arms to the Father. He knows what you've been doing. He knows all the things you've done wrong. We deserve to be punished for disobeying Him, and continuing to seek our own will rather than His. But despite what we deserve, He didn't send His Son Jesus into the world to condemn us, but to save us. His peace, His joy, His love, will come to us when we accept His free gift of salvation. All we have to do is believe that Jesus died as a payment for our sins, and ask Him to come in to our hearts and give us a new life. It's just that simple. Religion will try to complicate things, creating many paths to God, all of which require hard effort on our part to achieve peace with God. But the Bible makes it clear that we can't do anything to earn God's approval. All we can do is trust in Jesus. Jesus did all the work for us.

I pray you've been blessed by my testimony. If it's touched you in a special way, please email me to let me know. I would love to have the opportunity to hear your story and pray for you!

Michele Appelbaum

michele@webhappy.com

Delivered from drug addiction by the power of God (Julian Dobbs' Testimony)

At the age of 14 my parents moved to the gulf, this was the start of my life on drugs. I had sniffed the odd 'do not inhale' before then but it was there that I started to take drugs, it began with smoking a bit of pot. At about 15 my parents split up, it devastated me. Because of a untidy divorce and my age I was seperated from my mum, sister and brother and I found myself living with my dad, a man I did not know really well as he had traveled throughout my life in his job. Due to the nature of my dads job I found myself being left on my own a lot and missing my brother, sister and mother. My dad in all fairness tried, but he was not a 'house dad' and must have found it difficult.

Anyway it was not long before I sought comfort in drink and progressed on to other drugs. Over the years I progressed to speed, acid and E`s, it seemed harmless fun, but the truth is I was very lonely and was hiding behind them. By the time I was 17 my dad had enough. My sadness and anger mixed with drugs and booze had made me become very aggressive. I had also built up disregard for him and by this time his new wife, so at almost 18 I was shipped back to the UK.

On arriving back I went to live in my mothers house in Cambridge. She was also now remarried and was also living in the gulf with her new husband. I found myself alone again, my brother and sister were living in Wales and I had no friends in Cambridge. Up the pub was the first move and one of the first people I got friendly with was a Hells Angel Nomad. This guy was wild, but we got on, probably through our common interest in bikes and drugs. It was not long before he introduced me to some people who were taking smack. He was not suppose to take it, as for some reason it is against Hells Angels rules. But anyway it was not long before I had a go. That is where the real problems began. We did a lot of crazy things, got into a lot of trouble all for the sake of our by now our habits. The problem is you see, it is a nice drug, a nice high at first, but when you use it a lot you never reach that first high but you still try. It was not long before it took control of me. The other problem was financing it, as you may be able to imagine it is not cheep and the only thing you can do is to turn to crime to feed it.

I wonder now what happened, how and why did I allow myself to go. Despite the fact that my family was hard working and that I was brought up well, to respect people and to be honest drugs had a hold of me. I Now found myself to be a thorn in the side of society, taking all I could get but not giving anything back. Only thinking of myself with a blatant disregard for people and the law.

I got into some deep trouble, well I was lucky my angel friend was not. I lent him a gun to go to a party, the only problem was it was not my gun it was my step fathers and when he returned from Saudi he went to the police. I deceided a quick move was in order and split to Wales. It was not long after getting home that I found myself back in the same old thing. With new friends I was doing the same thing that I had tried to break away from. By this time I had stopped taking so much smack but took a lot of speed. This I believe was at the time worse for me. I became very confused and paranoid, and had really lost focus on what was reality. Mixing with other users, dealers, prostitutes and criminals, it was a crazy time. One day I got caught for a particular crime and I lost it, I could not believe what I had become. My solicitor told the courts that it was a cry for help. I think he was right, I could not go on like I was, If I did I would end up dead like some of my friends over the years or have a breakdown. The courts agreed and fortunately for me showed leniency. Time to make another break. My mum having returned from the Gulf by now came to my rescue and offered me to move away and live with them back in Cambridge.

Sometimes there comes a time in life when you think... Who am I.... What have I done with my life... How have I become like this? This was my time.

Was it the separation and divorce of my parents ? YES. Was it the lack of supervision as a teenager ? YES. Was it the feeling of lonliness ? YES. Was it the moving around and the loss of friends etc ? YES. Was it the drugs? YES. But most of all it was the drugs mixed with all these things.

We all may try to reason out our lives, many of us blame others for our own failings and shortcomings., but we have to except who we are and what we have done and what we have become at some time in our lives instead of partitioning blame on others. It seemed that this was my time and it all came home to me with a tremendous bang. I was depressed big style. Moving on, I was now living with my mum (sad really I am now 20) and stepfather. He asked me if I would like to meet someone who used to have a drug problem, "good idea I thought" so he introduced me to a lady. He explained to me that she been through a lot as well, and that I would be able to talk to her about my feelings and problems. (Little did I know that it was the local Vicars wife). Over the course of a few weeks she told me about her life and things that had happened to her. I was shocked that this woman had done and been through so much. In situations like mine at the time you generally feel that you have done it all, I thought I had wrote the book as to say. She literally had !

Over the period of a few weeks we became friends and she introduced me to some of the young people from her church. Despite the fact that I was still doing drugs I was invited to a meeting, a good opportunity I thought to meet this girl I fancied from the youth group. This meeting was nothing like I thought church was like. (pentecostal) I sat through the meeting, well, I was in and out for a smoke and not really paying attention through it. (I remember thinking look at these nutters what do they know). Anyway at the end there was a call to the front for prayer. I found myself up there ! "Why I asked myself, what are you doing" I have no idea why I went up, I cant really explain, it was not really a voluntary action, what I mean is that I was not really conscious of going forward, I just found myself there as to say. I was last but one in this long line of people. As the minister prayed for people, many of them fell over, they were out cold. It came to my turn, I did not know what was happening, then he asked if he could pray for me, "ok" I said, what shall I pray for he asked. I had no idea and just told him that I did not know ... anything. He prayed and I hit the deck. I will not say here what I thought, but to say I was shocked might sum it up.. What had happened ? I was confused. It was really to much to take in, so the first thing I did was to get up, go out and have a fag. There I had a little chat with the group I went with, they explained to me that God had probably healed me. This was a bit much to take in, God to me was some guy in a book, miracles, well I had never thought about them. All I knew is that I felt really good, would God, if there was a God, I thought to myself heal a person like me. It was just to much to take in.

When I got home I told my mum and step father what had happened. It was really funny, it was like they knew, they felt my excitement and joy and began to cry with happiness. The next day when I awoke I realized that I had been healed from my addictions, they had said I might be the night before, but I did not really relate being healed with drugs, all I knew is that I did not want a fix. I know what you might think, but it was not like that. I was not looking for "spiritual enlightenment" or God, but it was then that I knew that miracles do happen, believe me. I knew then that there was a God . I talked to Liesl the Vicars wife about what had happened, she explained, told me more about Jesus, so I decided to make a commitment. It was wonderful, I was, and felt totally different, clean, it is hard to describe, but I knew for sure in my heart that Jesus had died for my sins and that I was forgiven, that he had cleansed me, renewed my mind. Everything was so clear.

I had never known of such things. To me church was dreary and full of boring old folk. What a surprise to find young, happy and loud people as well as older people. I began to meet other people from backgrounds like mine. I met some people who were saved in prison who had committed horrible crimes. I realized that God loved everyone and that He has the power to transform lives. One thing I can tell you if God can change me he can change you. It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done, sin is sin.

Ask yourself this: Are you going to heaven ? If you think you are why do you think that ? Are you confident ? If you don't believe in heaven or God think of this: Is it worth the gamble of going to hell if it is all true, to spend a lifetime in eternal torment ?

Or is it worth seeking God, to find out more about him and making an informed decision.

Well, I am now 33, married with 2 Children. My wife is called Susan and she is also 33. Born in Libya, she was brought up as a Muslim, when she was converted she said "I never realized that you could have a relationship with God until now" words that have always stuck with me.

I have now just finished Bible college Bryntirion and am looking to take up a years teacher training. I am also the Bridgend Area rep for Tearfund. This involves giving talks on the poor of the world to local churches, telling them how there local churches can support the work of Tearfund, for this I use video and overheads. If your church would like to support Christians throughout the world helping the worlds poor, contact me or the link above. I am also available for talks, ministry and or testimony. If you would like me to visit your church or youth group just drop me a line.

Maybe you would just like to know more about me or my life or would just like someone to talk to.

I would like to add that I am in contact with all my family and have solved any problems I may have had with my father and stepmother. They now live in Cyprus and work for MECO (Middle East Christian Outreach) producing Bibles in Arabic to send to Muslim countrys.

Do you want to know how you be forgiven of your sins, how you can know the living God?

Julian Dobbs (click to e-mail)

About Homosexuality: Gay and Lesbian

And if a man has sex relations with a man, the two of them have done a disgusting thing: let them be put to death; their blood will be on them.(Leviticus 20: 13)

Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality, Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Dealing with homosexuality in the church and how should church relate to gay and lesbian coupled? Does loving homosexuals include warning them to repent and change their ways; or does it mean affirming every sexual orientation as a marvelous gift of God? Infact, what is the world turning too, homosexuality and lesbianism in the church?

The churches is coming to the days of "Sodom and Gomorrah when people gave themselves up to sexual immorality and pervasion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire" (Jude 7).

If people want homosexual relationships and also church membership, should the church exclude them from membership or be recognized as members in good standing? Should churches ordain homosexuals as leaders. They should beleaders to their own members and not the churches.

Jude 3-4 warns that people who wants to change the pattern and church's biblical teachings will meet a terrible end, just like some ancient cities that wallowed in many sins, including homosexual behaviour and which the Lord destroyed by fire. If the churches practice or defend sexual pervasion while talking sweetly of God's grace and love, we deny Jesus because of homosexuality The church must have the courage and clarity to say "no" on at least no to gay and lesbian sex acts, and no to homosexual marriage and church rituals to bless same sex unions because of sex and satisfaction and after that what is next? The church leadership practice or promote homosexual conduct. Many that practice such act will go to eternal hell burning with brimstone forever.

---

A Roman Catholic priest meets Jesus (Richard Bennett)

From Tradition to Truth

Born Irish, in a family of eight, my early childhood was fulfilled and happy. My father was a colonel in the Irish Army until he retired when I was about nine. As a family, we loved to play, sing, and act, all within a military camp in Dublin.

We were a typical Irish Roman Catholic family. My father sometimes knelt down to pray at his bedside in a solemn manner. My mother would talk to Jesus while sewing, washing dishes, or even smoking a cigarette. Most evenings we would kneel in the living room to say the Rosary together. No one ever missed Mass on Sundays unless he was seriously ill. By the time I was about five or six years of age, Jesus Christ was a very real person to me, but so also were Mary and the saints. I can identify easily with others in traditional Catholic nations in Europe and with Hispanics and Filipinos who put Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and other saints all in one boiling pot of faith.

The catechism was drilled into me at the Jesuit School of Belvedere, where I had all my elementary and secondary education. Like every boy who studies under the Jesuits, I could recite before the age of ten five reasons why God existed and why the Pope was head of the only true Church. Getting souls out of Purgatory was a serious matter. The often quoted words, "It is a holy and a wholesome thought to pray for the dead that they may be loosed from sins," were memorized even though we did not know what these words meant. We were told that the Pope as head of the Church was the most important man on earth. What he said was law, and the Jesuits were his right-hand men. Even though the Mass was in Latin, I tried to attend daily because I was intrigued by the deep sense of mystery which surrounded it.

We were told it was the most important way to please God. Praying to saints was encouraged, and we had patron saints for most aspects of life. I did not make a practise of that, with one exception: St. Anthony, the patron of lost objects, since I seemed to lose so many things.

When I was fourteen years old, I sensed a call to be a missionary. This call, however, did not affect the way in which I conducted my life at that time. Age sixteen to eighteen were the most fulfilled and enjoyable years a youth could have. During this time, I did quite well both academically and athletically.

I often had to drive my mother to the hospital for treatments. While waiting for her, I found quoted in a book these verses from Mark 10:29-30, "And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life." Not having any idea of the true salvation message, I decided that I truly did have a call to be a missionary.

Trying to earn salvation I left my family and friends in 1956 to join the Dominican Order. I spent eight years studying what it is to be a monk, the traditions of the Church, philosophy, the theology of Thomas Aquinas, and some of the Bible from a Catholic standpoint. Whatever personal faith I had was institutionalized and ritualized in the Dominican religious system. Obedience to the law, both Church and Dominican, was put before me as the means of sanctification. I often spoke to Ambrose Duffy, our Master of Students, about the law being the means of becoming holy. In addition to becoming "holy," I wanted also to be sure of eternal salvation. I memorized part of the teaching of Pope Pius XII in which he said, "...the salvation of many depends on the prayers and sacrifices of the mystical body of Christ offered for this intention." This idea of gaining salvation through suffering and prayer is also the basic message of Fatima and Lourdes, and I sought to win my own salvation as well as the salvation of others by such suffering and prayer.

In the Dominican monastery in Tallaght, Dublin, I performed many difficult feats to win souls, such as taking cold showers in the middle of winter and beating my back with a small steel chain. The Master of Students knew what I was doing, his own austere life being part of the inspiration that I had received from the Pope's words. With rigor and determination, I studied, prayed, did penance, tried to keep the Ten Commandments and the multitude of Dominican rules and traditions.

Outward Pomp -- Inner Emptiness

Then in 1963 at the age of twenty-five I was ordained a Roman Catholic priest and went on to finish my course of studies of Thomas Aquinas at The Angelicum University in Rome. But there I had difficulty with both the outward pomp and the inner emptiness. Over the years I had formed, from pictures and books, pictures in my mind of the Holy See and the Holy City. Could this be the same city? At the Angelicum University I was also shocked that hundreds of others who poured into our morning classes seemed quite disinterested in theology. I noticed Time and Newsweek magazines being read during classes. Those who were interested in what was being taught seemed only to be looking for either degrees or positions within the Catholic Church in their homelands.

One day I went for a walk in the Colosseum so that my feet might tread the ground where the blood of so many Christians had been poured out. I walked to the arena in the Forum. I tried to picture in my mind those men and women who knew Christ so well that they were joyfully willing to be burned at the stake or devoured alive by beasts because of His overpowering love. The joy of this experience was marred, however, for as I went back in the bus I was insulted by jeering youths shouting words meaning "scum or garbage." I sensed their motivation for such insults was not because I stood for Christ as the early Christians did but because they saw in me the Roman Catholic system. Quickly, I put this contrast out of my mind, yet what I had been taught about the present glories of Rome now seemed very irrelevant and empty.

One night soon after that, I prayed for two hours in front of the main altar in the church of San Clemente. Remembering my earlier youthful call to be a missionary and the hundredfold promise of Mark 10:29-30, I decided not to take the theological degree that had been my ambition since beginning study of the theology of Thomas Aquinas. This was a major decision, but after long prayer I was sure I had decided correctly.

The priest who was to direct my thesis did not want to accept my decision. In order to make the degree easier, he offered me a thesis written several years earlier. He said I could useit as my own if only I would do the oral defense. This turned my stomach. It was similar to what I had seen a few weeks earlier in a city park: elegant prostitutes parading themselves in their black leather boots. What he was offering was equally sinful. I held to my decision, finishing at the University at the ordinary academic level, without the degree.

On returning from Rome, I received official word that I had been assigned to do a three year course at Cork University. I prayed earnestly about my missionary call. To my surprise, I received orders in late August 1964 to go to Trinidad, West Indies, as a missionary.

Pride, Fall, And A New Hunger

On October 1, 1964, I arrived in Trinidad, and for seven years I was a successful priest, in Roman Catholic terms, doing all my duties and getting many people to come to Mass. By 1972 I had become quite involved in the Catholic Charismatic Movement. Then, at a prayer meeting on March 16th of that year, I thanked the Lord that I was such a good priest and requested that if it were His will, He humble me that I might be even better. Later that same evening I had a freak accident, splitting the back of my head and hurting my spine in many places. Without thus coming close to death, I doubt that I would ever have gotten out of my self- satisfied state. Rote, set prayer showed its emptiness as I cried out to God in my pain.

In the suffering that I went through in the weeks after the accident, I began to find some comfort in direct personal prayer. I stopped saying the Breviary (the Roman Catholic Church's official prayer for clergy) and the Rosary and began to pray using parts of the Bible itself. This was a very slow process. I did not know my way through the Bible and the little I had learned over the years had taught me more to distrust it rather than to trust it. My training in philosophy and in the theology of Thomas Aquinas left me helpless, so that coming into the Bible now to find the Lord was like going into a huge dark woods without a map.

When assigned to a new parish later that year, I found that I was to work side-by-side with a Dominican priest who had been a brother to me over the years. For more than two years we were to work together, fully seeking God as best we knew in the parish of Pointe-a-Pierre. We read, studied, prayed, and put into practise what we had been taught in Church teaching. We built up communities in Gasparillo, Claxton Bay, and Marabella, just to mention the main villages. In a Catholic religious sense we were very successful. Many people attended Mass. The Catechism was taught in many schools, including government schools. I continued my personal search into the Bible, but it did not much affect the work we were doing; rather it showed me how little I really knew about the Lord and His Word. It was at this time that Philippians 3:10 became the cry of my heart, "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection...."

About this time the Catholic Charismatic movement was growing, and we introduced it into most of our villages. Because of this movement, some Canadian Christians came to Trinidad to share with us. I learned much from their messages, especially about praying for healing. The whole impact of what they said was very experience-oriented but was truly a blessing, insofar, as it got me deeply into the Bible as an authority source. I began to compare scripture with scripture and even to quote chapter and verse! One of the texts the Canadians used was Isaiah 53:5, "...and with his stripes we are healed." Yet in studying Isaiah 53, I discovered that the Bible deals with the problem of sin by means of substitution. Christ died in my place. It was wrong for me to try to expidite or try to cooperate in paying the price of my sin.

"If by grace, it is no more of works, otherwise grace is no more grace.." Romans 11:6. "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 53:6).

One particular sin of mine was getting annoyed with people, sometimes even angry. Although I asked forgiveness for my sins, I still did not realize that I was a sinner by the nature which we all inherit from Adam. The scriptural truth is, "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one" (Romans 3:10), and "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). The Catholic Church, however, had taught me that the depravity of man, which is called "original sin," had been washed away by my infant baptism. I still held this belief in my head, but in my heart I knew that my depraved nature had not yet been conquered by Christ.

"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection..." (Philippians 3:10) continued to be the cry of my heart. I knew that it could be only through His power that I could live the Christian life. I posted this text on the dashboard of my car and in other places. It became the plea that motivated me, and the Lord who is Faithful began to answer.

The Ultimate Question

First, I discovered that God's Word in the Bible is absolute and without error. I had been taught that the Word is relative and that its truthfulness in many areas was to be questioned. Now I began to understand that the Bible could, in fact, be trusted. With the aid of Strong's Concordance, I began to study the Bible to see what it says about itself. I discovered that the Bible teaches clearly that it is from God and is absolute in what it says. It is true in its history, in the promises God has made, in its prophecies, in the moral commands it gives, and in how to live the Christian life. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works" (II Timothy 3:16-17).

This discovery was made while visiting in Vancouver, B.C., and in Seattle. When I was asked to talk to the prayer group in St. Stephen's Catholic Church, I took as my subject the absolute authority of God's Word. It was the first time that I had understood such a truth or talked about it. I returned to Vancouver, B.C. and in a large parish Church, before about 400 people, I preached the same message. Bible in hand, I proclaimed that "the absolute and final authority in all matters of faith and morals is the Bible, God's own Word."

Three days later, the archbishop of Vancouver, B.C., James Carney, called me to his office. I was then officially silenced and forbidden to preach in his archdiocese. I was told that my punishment would have been more severe, were it not for the letter of recommendation I had received from my own archbishop, Anthony Pantin. Soon afterwards I returned to Trinidad.

Church-Bible Dilemma

While I was still parish priest of Point-a-Pierre, Ambrose Duffy, the man who had so strictly taught me while he was Student Master, was asked to assist me. The tide had turned. After some initial difficulties, we became close friends. I shared with him what I was discovering. He listened and commented with great interest and wanted to find out what was motivating me. I saw in him a channel to my Dominican brothers and even to those in the Archbishop's house.

When he died suddenly of a heart attack, I was stricken with grief. In my mind, I had seen Ambrose as the one who could make sense out of the Church-Bible dilemma with which I so struggled. I had hoped that he would have been able to explain to me and then to my Dominican brothers the truths with which I wrestled. I preached at his funeral and my despair was very deep.

I continued to pray Philippians 3:10, "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection...." But to learn more about Him, I had first to learn about myself as a sinner. I saw from the Bible (I Timothy 2:5) that the role I was playing as a priestly mediator -- exactly what the Catholic Church teaches but exactly opposite to what the Bible teaches -- was wrong. I really enjoyed being looked up to by the people and, in a certain sense, being idolized by them. I rationalized my sin by saying that after all, if this is what the biggest Church in the world teaches, who am I to question it? Still, I struggled with the conflict within. I began to see the worship of Mary, the saints, and the priests for the sin that it is. But while I was willing to renounce Mary and the saints as mediators, I could not renounce the priesthood, for in that I had invested my whole life.

Tug-Of-War Years

Mary, the saints, and the priesthood were just a small part of the huge struggle with which I was working. Who was Lord of my life, Jesus Christ in His Word or the Roman Church? This ultimate question raged inside me especially during my last six years as parish priest of Sangre Grande (1979-1985). That the Catholic Church was supreme in all matters of faith and morals had been dyed into my brain since I was a child. It looked impossible ever to change.

Rome was not only supreme but always called "Holy Mother." How could I ever go against "Holy Mother," all the more so since I had an official part in dispensing her sacraments and keeping people faithful to her? In 1981, I actually rededicated myself to serving the Roman Catholic Church while attending a parish renewal seminar in New Orleans. Yet when I returned to Trinidad and again became involved in real life problems, I began to return to the authority of God's Word. Finally the tension became like a tug-of-war inside me. Sometimes I looked to the Roman Church as being absolute, sometimes to the authority of the Bible as being final. My stomach suffered much during those years; my emotions were being torn. I ought to have known the simple truth that one cannot serve two masters. My working position was to place the absolute authority of the Word of God under the supreme authority of the Roman Church.

This contradiction was symbolized in what I did with the four statues in the Sangre Grande Church. I removed and broke the statues of St. Francis and St. Martin because the second commandment of God's Law declares in Exodus 20:4, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image...." But when some of the people objected to my removal of the statues of the Sacred Heart and of Mary, I left them standing because the higher authority, i.e., the Roman Catholic Church, said in its law Canon 1188: "The practise of displaying sacred images in the churches for the veneration of the faithful is to remain in force."

I did not see that what I was trying to do was to make God's Word subject to man's word. My Own Fault While I had learned earlier that God's Word is absolute, I still went through this agony of trying to maintain the Roman Catholic Church as holding more authority than God's Word, even in issues where the Church of Rome was saying the exact opposite to what was in the Bible.

How could this be? First of all, it was my own fault. If I had accepted the authority of the Bible as supreme, I would have been convicted by God's Word to give up my priestly role as mediator, but that was too precious to me. Second, no one ever questioned what I did as a priest.

Christians from overseas came to Mass, saw our sacred oils, holy water, medals, statues, vestments, rituals, and never said a word! The marvelous style, symbolism, music, and artistic taste of the Roman Church was all very captivating. Incense not only smells pungent, but to the mind it spells mystery.

The Turning Point

One day, a woman challenged me (the only Christian ever to challenge me in all my 22 years as a priest), "You Roman Catholics have a form of godliness, but you deny its power." Those words bothered me for some time because the lights, banners, folk music, guitars, and drums were dear to me. Probably no priest on the whole island of Trinidad had as colorful robes, banners, and vestments as I had. Clearly I did not apply what was before my eyes.

In October 1985, God's grace was greater than the lie that I was trying to live. I went to Barbados to pray over the compromise that I was forcing myself to live. I felt truly trapped. The Word of God is absolute indeed. I ought to obey it alone; yet to the very same God I had vowed obedience to the supreme authority of the Catholic Church. In Barbados I read a book in which was explained the Biblical meaning of Church as "the fellowship of believers." In the New Testament there is no hint of a hierarchy; "Clergy" lording it over the "laity" is unknown. Rather, it is as the Lord Himself declared "...one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren" (Matthew 23:8).

Now to see and to understand the meaning of church as "fellowship" left me free to let go of the Roman Catholic Church as supreme authority and depend on Jesus Christ as Lord. It began to dawn on me that in Biblical terms, the Bishops I knew in the Catholic Church were not Biblical believers. They were for the most part pious men taken up with devotion to Mary and the Rosary and loyal to Rome, but not one had any idea of the finished work of salvation, that Christ's work is done, that salvation is personal and complete. They all preached penance for sin, human suffering, religious deeds, "the way of man" rather than the Gospel of grace. But by God's grace I saw that it was not through the Roman Church nor by any kind of works that one is saved, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

New Birth at Age 48

I left the Roman Catholic Church when I saw that life in Jesus Christ was not possible while remaining true to Roman Catholic doctrine. In leaving Trinidad in November 1985, I only reached neighboring Barbados. Staying with an elderly couple, I prayed to the Lord for a suit and necessary money to reach Canada, for I had only tropical clothing and a few hundred dollars to my name. Both prayers were answered without making my needs known to anyone except the Lord.

From a tropical temperature of 90 degrees, I landed in snow and ice in Canada. After one month in Vancouver, I came to the United States of America. I now trusted that He would take care of my many needs, since I was beginning life anew at 48 years of age, practically penniless, without an alien resident card, without a driver's license, without a recommendation of any kind, having only the Lord and His Word.

I spent six months with a Christian couple on a farm in Washington State. I explained to my hosts that I had left the Roman Catholic Church and that I had accepted Jesus Christ and His Word in the Bible as all-sufficient. I had done this, I said, "absolutely, finally, definitively, and resolutely." Yet far from being impressed by these four adverbs, they wanted to know if there was any bitterness or hurt inside me. In prayer and in great compassion, they ministered to me, for they themselves had made the transition and knew how easily one can become embittered. Four days after I arrived in their home, by God's grace I began to see in repentance the fruit of salvation. This meant being able not only to ask the Lord's pardon for my many years of compromising but also to accept His healing where I had been so deeply hurt. Finally, at age 48, on the authority of God's Word alone, by grace alone, I accepted Christ's substitutionary death on the Cross alone. To Him alone be the glory.

Having been refurbished both physically and spiritually by this Christian couple together with their family, I was provided a wife by the Lord, Lynn, born-again in faith, lovely in manner, intelligent in mind. Together we set out for Atlanta, Georgia, where we both got jobs.

A Real Missionary With A Real Message

In September 1988, we left Atlanta to go as missionaries to Asia. It was a year of deep fruitfulness in the Lord that once I would never have thought was possible. Men and women came to know the authority of the Bible and the power of Christ's death and resurrection. I was amazed at how easy it is for the Lord's grace to be effective when only the Bible is used to present Jesus Christ. This contrasted with the cobwebs of church tradition that had so clouded my 21 years in missionary garments in Trinidad, 21 years without the real message.

To explain the abundant life of which Jesus spoke and which I now enjoy, no better words could be used than those of Romans 8:1-2: "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death." It is not just that I have been freed from the Roman Catholic system, but that I have become a new creature in Christ. It is by the grace of God, and nothing but His grace, that I have gone from dead works into new life.

Testimony to the Gospel of Grace

Back in 1972, when some Christians had taught me about the Lord healing our bodies, how much more helpful it would have been had they explained to me on what authority our sinful nature is made right with God. The Bible clearly shows that Jesus substituted for us on the cross. I cannot express it better than Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." (This means that Christ took on himself what I ought to suffer for my sins. Before the Father, I trust in Jesus as my substitute.)

That was written 750 years before the crucifixion of our Lord. A short time after the sacrifice of the cross, the Bible states in I Peter 2:24: "Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed."

Because we inherited our sin nature from Adam, we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. How can we stand before a Holy God -- except in Christ -- and acknowledge that He died where we ought to have died? God gives us the faith to be born again, making it possible for us to acknowledge Christ as our substitute. It was Christ who paid the price for our sins: sinless, yet He was crucified. This is the true Gospel message. Is faith enough? Yes, born-again faith is enough. That faith, born of God, will result in good works including repentance: "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).

In repenting, we put aside, through God's strength, our former way of life and our former sins. It does not mean that we cannot sin again, but it does mean that our position before God has changed. We are called children of God, for so indeed we are. If we do sin, it is a relationship problem with the Father which can be resolved, not a problem of losing our position as a child of God in Christ, for this position is irrevocable. In Hebrews 10:10, the Bible says it so wonderfully: "...we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all."

The finished work of Christ Jesus on the Cross is sufficient and complete. As you trust solely in this finished work, a new life which is born of the Spirit will be yours -- you will be born again.

The Present Day

My present task: the good work that the Lord has prepared for me to do is as an evangelist situated in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S.A. What Paul said about his fellow Jews I say about my dearly loved Catholic brothers: my heart's desire and prayer to God for Catholics is that they may be saved. I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based in God's Word but in their church tradition. If you understand the devotion and agony that some of our brothers and sisters in the Philippines and South America have put into their religion, you may understand my heart's cry: "Lord, give us a compassion to understand the pain and torment of the search our brothers and sisters have made to please You. In understanding pain inside the Catholic hearts, we will have the desire to show them the Good News of Christ's finished work on the Cross."

My testimony shows how difficult it was for me as a Catholic to give up Church tradition, but when the Lord demands it in His Word, we must do it. The "form of godliness" that the Roman Catholic Church has makes it most difficult for a Catholic to see where the real problem lies. Everyone must determine by what authority we know truth. Rome claims that it is only by her own authority that truth is known. In her own words, Cannon 212, Section 1, "The Christian faithful, conscious of their own responsibility, are bound by Christian obedience to follow what the sacred pastors, as representatives of Christ, declare as teachers of the faith or determine as leaders of the Church." (Vatican Council II based, Code of Canon Law promulgated by Pope John-Paul II, 1983).

Yet according to the Bible, it is God's Word itself which is the authority by which truth is known. It was man-made traditions which caused the Reformers to demand "the Bible only, faith only, grace only, in Christ only, and to God only be the glory."

The Reason Why I Share

I share these truths with you now so that you can know God's way of salvation. Our basic fault as Catholics is that we believe that somehow we can of ourselves respond to the help God gives us to be right in His sight. This presupposition that many of us have carried for years is aptly defined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (1994) #2021, "Grace is the help God gives us to respond to our vocation of becoming his adopted sons...."

With that mindset, we were unknowingly holding to a teaching that the Bible continually condemns. Such a definition of grace is man's careful fabrication, for the Bible consistently declares that the believer's right standing with God is "without works" (Romans 4:6), "without the deeds of the Law" (Romans 3:28), "not of works" (Ephesians 2:9), "It is the gift of God," (Ephesians 2:8). To attempt to make the believer's response part of his salvation and to look upon grace as "a help" is to flatly deny Biblical truth,

"...if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace..." (Romans 11:6). The simple Biblical message is that "the gift of righteousness" in Christ Jesus is a gift, resting on His all-sufficient sacrifice on the cross, "For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ" (Romans 5:17).

So it is as Christ Jesus Himself said, He died in place of the believer, the One for many (Mark 10:45), His life a ransom for many. As He declared, ...this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins" (Matthew 26:28). This is also what Peter proclaimed, "For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God..." (I Peter 3:18).

Paul's preaching is summarized at the end of II Corinthians 5:21, "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.." (II Cor. 5:21).

This fact, dear reader, is presented clearly to you in the Bible. Acceptance of it is now commanded by God, "...Repent ye, and believe the gospel" (Mark 1:15).

The most difficult repentance for us dyed-in-the-wool Catholics is changing our mind from thoughts of "meriting," "earning," "being good enough," simply to accepting with empty hands the gift of righteousness in Christ Jesus. To refuse to accept what God commands is the same sin as that of the religious Jews of Paul's time, "For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God." (Romans 10:3)

Repent and believe the Good News!